


The New Girl

by CircularCreations



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Luz Noceda, F/F, Fluff and Angst, High School, Luz Noceda Angst, Luz Noceda Needs a Hug, School, Shyness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27917884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircularCreations/pseuds/CircularCreations
Summary: Luz Noceda is just about to enter her first year at her new school, Hexside. She left her old school in the hopes for a new beginning. She wants to make friends, and many fond memories there. She's is nervous, but she will not let that get to her. Watch as we watch in her perspective go through her experience in Hexside, meeting new people, but at the same time meeting some new enemies too.Rated T for language and possible mention of some mature topics later on.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 71
Kudos: 190





	1. New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody, welcome to my new multi chapter fic on here, The New Girl! This was another story I wanted to explore. I saw a lot of the Human High School AUs in stories and comics and I wanted to make my own version of that.
> 
> This story is entirely depicted in Luz's first person view. I contemplated on how I should write it, but if I was wanting to show Luz's emotions and internal thoughts primarily, first person was how I would write it.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this story! Without a drawing tablet pen, I can't make any pictures for this story, but once I get a new one, I'll make sure to make a post for it over on my instagram!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter everyone! I'll see you next time!
> 
> -CircularCreations

_Oh man….I'm really nervous right now….My stomach is squirming…_

  
  


_I don't want to mess up on this...it's my big chance. I can't afford to mess this up._

  
  


I couldn't stop thinking. I wish I could, but I can't. My brain was going insane about all of this. I'm about to go into a new school. It's my chance to actually make a good impression. I can't blow it this time.

  
  


I didn't have anyone back in my old school, so this was my only chance to actually get friends.

  
  


I can't mess this up.

  
  


"Luz" I heard my mother say. I looked up from the ground and looked in her direction as she drove the car.

  
  


"I know you're nervous, but don't let that hold you back here." She was clearly trying to lighten the mood. I don't know if it worked or not. My mind was too conflicted to give me a straight answer.

"Just...do as much as you can do, and be yourself...I'm sure there's gonna be nicer people here." I turned away and looked out the window, but I can tell she was glancing at me with sympathetic eyes.

  
  


_Be myself? How can I even do that when that was the reason I couldn't make friends?_

  
  


I saw the little clearing of trees outside move past my window, and the road turned into my new school.

  
  


Hexside.

  
  


_What a weird name for a high school._

  
  


My hands were planted on my bag in front of me, and I clutched the handle. I felt my nerve rise up, as my heart started to pump faster. I guess mom saw me get nervous, and I felt her hand rest on my shoulder.

  
  


"I know how scary it can be Luz...I understand, but don't let your fear control you in here. This is a brand new opportunity to make new friends, and to make so many fond memories. You're gonna like it here Luz, I promise."

  
  


As much as I wanted to believe that things were gonna go wrong, her words made me feel calm. She spoke the truth. This was a new beginning. A new place to find new people and to make new memories. I wanted friends, and today was my chance.

  
  


We pulled up to the curb of the front, and I gave mom a quick kiss and hug before I opened the door. She wished me good luck, and I hopped out of the car waving goodbye, as I proceeded forwards.

  
  


I gotta say, this school was beautiful. The architecture and design of the outside was visually appealing to look at. It definitely wasn't some cheap school, this had polish. There were bits that reflected with the morning sunrise, the windows glistened and the use of marble on the stairs was rich and clean.

  
  


Unfortunately, I forgot that there were about a hundred other kids going into the same direction, and one of them wasn't moving. As I looked around, noticing the details on the path, I bumped into this girl. she dropped her books as she stumbled forwards, trying to catch herself. I stepped back as I felt myself feel really bad and embarrassed.

  
  


"O-oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I scrambled to aid her, as I kneeled down to pick up her books, but that help fell short fast as my hand was slapped away from them. I backed up and looked to see her facing me with clear irritation in her face.

  
  


"Watch where you're going next time idiot!" The girl grabbed all of her belongings as she faced me. I got a good look at her this time. She had magenta like hair, that was partially rolled up in a bun at the back. Her eyes were blue and she wore some kind of jean jacket from the looks of it. She backed away from me and sneered.

  
  


"Next time if you're gonna make someone fall, make that person be yourself." She trotted off ahead of me as I stood there feeling shocked. It was a pure accident, and I know it was my fault. I wanted to help her, but she gave me such a nasty attitude. Honestly that alone made me wanna run away and ignore it all, but instead I gripped my bag arm as I proceeded forwards.

  
  


Hoping I wouldn't run into her again.

  
  


\------------------------

  
  


Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

  
  


After the beginning of the year orientation, everyone got their locker number along with their pin numbers. Mine happened to be 742, which was interesting. That meant I was near one of the stairwells. As I was unpacking in front of it, I saw that girl again, and she situated herself next to me. It took her a moment to realize it was me, and when she did, her face morphed into that of disgust.

  
  


"Oh great, I'm next to Ms. Clumsy here? That's just wonderful." I could feel my heart already beating twice as much from fear, but I tried to control my anxiety and turned towards her.

  
  


"Look, earlier was an honest mistake, I'm sorry I bumped into you. I was admiring the school, I'm new here. My name is Luz. What's your name?" I tried my best to sound as confident as I could, but I could feel every muscle in my body twitch and shiver with anxiety. The girl looked at me with a disappointed face, as she placed more things in the locker.

  
  


"Boscha." She placed the last of her stuff in her locker and shut the door. "Listen **_Luz,_ ** just don't be stupid like that again, and we won't have a problem, got it? Last thing I need is some retard like you to cause me some headaches."

  
  


I felt my confidence I built up for this situation quickly crumble down. All I wanted was to make a new friend, and here I am, already gaining an enemy. I put the last things in my locker and quickly shut the door. At this point I just wanted to get away from her, I don't know how many more insults I could possibly take.

  
  


"I-I understand...I'm sorry, I'll be going now." I gripped my books closely to my chest as I made my way by her. I saw the last look she gave me, which was another sneer, and that hurt me more. When I passed her though, I saw another girl situated next to Boscha. She had green hair, with some brown bangs and a little ponytail in the back. She had some eyeliner on and she wore a pink shirt with a black undershirt. I saw her face for a split second as I passed by, and I could swear I saw a hint of concern in her eyes. I didn't linger on it for too long, as I rushed over to my homeroom class, but that did make my mood lighten up just a tiny bit.

  
  


\-------------------

  
  


Well, go figures, but I also have Boscha in my homeroom too.

  
  


It's like the world purely hates me, wanting me to suffer and crumble. No matter what I try, it's destined for that to end up in flames.

  
  


The worst part was that she sat behind me. I could hear her talking to other people and I could tell from the way she interacted with her friends that she was one of the snobby girls who believed everyone that didn't associate with her was beneath her feet, and was utter garbage.

  
  


And I so happened to be a part of that list.

  
  


After taking attendance, the teacher got up from her chair and stood in front of the class. Everyone quickly looked forwards as she settled herself in front of us.

  
  


"Hello class, I'm glad to see that all of my students from last year have returned this year!" She was about to continue before someone else cut her off.

  
  


"Not like we had the decision in our hands." A girl to the left side of the classroom shouted out to the teacher. Some of the classmates laughed at the remark, while others like me stayed quiet. The teacher looked a little annoyed before shifting to the side.

  
  


"Very funny Viney. Anyways, as I was saying, it appears that all of you have came back here as your homeroom. Some I had in different classes, but it's nice to recognize everyone for the most part." Her eyes shifted towards me and I swear it felt like a spotlight shined from overhead, because I could feel various other stares coming from the class. I took a hard swallow as the teacher continued.

  
  


"Except for you young lady. I don't recognize you from last year….are you new here?" I felt my heart flutter as I was being put on the spot in front of a crowd I mostly didn't know.

  
  


"Uh...y-yeah." I could feel myself heat up with embarrassment. God I hate myself for that. I'm just being asked if I was new, this was expected. Why am I acting up like this?

  
  


"That's nice. Well my name is Lilith Clawthorne, but obviously call me Mrs. Clawthorne. I am your homeroom and history teacher. You know we move from class to class right?"

  
  


"Yeah I do..my old school did the same thing." I felt a light chuckle leave my mouth, even though I didn't want that. I felt more heat light up my face and I swear if I was looking in a mirror right now, I'd be brighter than the god damn sun.

  
  


"That's good. Well, since you're new here, everyone else needs to get to know you. Why don't you come up to the front and tell us about yourself?" Ms. Clawthorne reached her hand out as she was telling me to come up. I felt my heart die out as she asked that. I knew it was gonna happen too. I mentally prepared myself for this scenario, why was I acting so weird?

  
  


Probably has to due with the fact that one: I'm a total loser and I never had friends, and two: I already got a new enemy sitting right behind me. I know the second I get up here, I'm gonna be seeing her face scrunch up with judgement and disgust with whatever I say. Her insults and faces to me already gave me a bad start, I don't want that to continue, but I really don't have a choice do I?

  
  


"Hey….it's okay to feel nervous about it. Trust me, going to a new school isn't easy, but I know you're gonna be fine." Mrs. Clawthorne's genuine smile towards me was...comforting to say the least. In my old school, I had so many issues with my teachers, but this is the first teacher that is actually being genuinely nice to me. She wasn't rushing me, she wasn't judging me, from what I can tell at least, and she was just being genuine.

  
  


Slowly, I got up from my desk, and walked over to the front, and every step I took felt like a lifetime. When I finally did reach the front, I took a deep breath, straightened out my limbs and turned towards the class. The first glance I saw of them almost made me feel sick. The confidence I barely gained from that completely shattered as I saw the fixation of eyes stare me down. Every slight movement I did, they followed.

  
  


I looked over to Ms. Clawthorne for reassurance, and she noticed the fear I had. She trotted over to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

  
  


"Don't worry dear, it's gonna be alright. I'll sit right next to you, would that make you feel a little better?" Her sympathetic look made me feel a little better, as well as her offer. Any other kid would probably deny it, or at least begrudgingly say yes just to have her there for no purpose, but her being next to me actually made me feel comfortable. I don't know what it is, but it seems like she has this aura around her that makes me feel….safe.

  
  


I slowly nodded my head, and within seconds, she pulled up a chair, situated it next to me and sat down.

  
  


"Just take a deep breath and go when you're ready."

  
  


_A deep breath._

  
  


I huffed up some air, thought about what to say, and then exhaled.

  
  


"H-hey guys. My name is L-Luz Noceda and I am here from RVA. Um.." I thought for a second as to what I should say next. "I don't really have any activities I do outside of s-school. I live with my mother….and um…" I started to feel myself get more nervous as I stood quiet, trying to think. I could feel all the eyes pressuring on me. It almost felt like I couldn't breath, feeling those gazes. It drove me crazy. I had to say something.

  
  


"I also….I also like to read the Azura books.."

  
  


_Not that you fucking idiot._

  
  


I said the thing about the Azura books pretty quietly, but I can tell the class heard for the most part. I can see some people stayed neutral with what I said, others looked confused, and there was that small percentage of people that had looks of judgement. I can tell what they were thinking. Unsurprisingly, one of those people was Boscha.

  
  


She randomly started coughing out of nowhere in the middle of the silence. It was clearly a forced cough to get some attention on her, and I was nervous to hear what she would say next. Ms. Clawthorne asked what was wrong, and Boscha gave a sly smirk that made my blood run cold.

  
  


"Sorry, just had something in my throat. Anyways, Azura huh? That's very-" she cut herself off for a moment, as she covered her mouth from a chuckle she was holding back. "That's very interesting Luz."

  
  


At this point, my body started to lightly shake again. It wasn't noticeable, but I could feel it. My anxiety and fear were going ballistic. I'm surprised I was able to mask it while I stood up in front of everyone, but I felt myself die inside.

  
  


"Oh, uh...thank you…" I looked over to the teacher and gave her a forced smile. "That's all I can really say."

  
  


She gave a light smile, and stood up. "Alright Luz, you may go back to your desk." I saw her look around the class, and they started to applaud lightly. I didn't think of it much, it's just what you do to a presentation of some kind.

  
  


I got back to my desk, and leaned back on my chair, taking a breath and trying to calm down my nerve, but that was short lived by someone going _psst_ behind me.

  
  


"Azura? Really? Wow, not only are you clumsy and a mess, but you got terrible taste. You impress me Luz."

  
  


I didn't even bother to acknowledge her. I tried to ignore her words, but they already drilled themselves into my brain, being added along with all the other insults and words I have heard from my peers. Today was already going shit. I just want to go home, and hide from the world.

  
  


The bell finally rang, indicating our first period was starting, and everyone grabbed their stuff and proceeded to the door. I passed by the teacher and she noticed my frown and pulled me to the side for a moment.

  
  


"Going to a new school is challenging, I know it is honey. You must really miss your old friends already."

  
  


_The irony in that sentence is both comedic and tragic._

  
  


"Yeah...I sure do…" I lied. I wasn't gonna tell her that I had no friends. That would be too depressing to bring up on the first day at least. Even then, I didn't need any more judgement.

  
  


"If you need any advice, assistance or any help with anything, I'm always gonna be here, as well as any other teachers in this building." She patted me on the shoulder, and then backed up again. "We want your experience here to be the best."

  
  


It was good to at least have someone on my side for once. She was the only thing that was holding me together so far.

  
  


"Thank you Ms. Clawthorne. I will do that if I need it." I lightly smiled as I trudged to the door, but before I crossed the barrier, I felt another tap on my shoulder. Thinking it was the teacher again, I turned around, only to discover it wasn't her, but two other students. One was a girl about my height. She had puffy hair, she wore round glasses, and wore a green long sleeve with a hoodie wrapped around her waist. The other student was a boy who was shorter than both of us. He had brown hair that poofed upwards and with some highlights on the side. He wore a light turquoise scarf along with a black shirt and turquoise undershirt.

  
  


I was rightfully unnerved at first. All of my interactions with anyone here so far apart from the teacher was negative. I was scared to see more people come in and talk me down or something, but these two didn't have scowls or faces of judgement. They had smiles. Smiles just like Ms. Clawthorne.

  
  


"Your name is Luz right?" The girl asked. I nodded my head, and she rested her hand on her chest. "My name is Willow." 

  
  


The boy then stepped forwards with a hand out. "My name is Gus. It's nice to meet you." I was cautious to shake his hand at first, but his cheerful smile made me feel comfortable enough to feel like nothing was gonna go wrong.

  
  


"It's nice to meet you guys too." I dropped Gus's hand as I looked over to Willow.

  
  


"We saw how nervous you were up there. Trust me, we've been there. She did that with everyone last year. Most of us were just like you." I found myself lightly chuckling. I couldn't imagine someone internally dying as much as I was up there.

  
  


"Well, at least I know I wasn't alone." I chuckled again.

  
  


The bell rang again, indicating that we had a minute or two left to get to class.

  
  


"We got to get to our separate classes now, but come meet us again at lunch. It would be nice to get to know you more Luz." Gus stated, as he made his way towards the door with Willow. "We'll see you around!" They both waved at me and disappeared in the flood of people.

  
  


My mood afterwards immediately changed. I was smiling, content with my life. I think I just met my new friends.

  
  


I strolled out of homeroom, already wishing it was lunch time.


	2. New Acquaintances

Lunch didn't come as quick as I wanted to. That was to be expected though. When you anticipate something to happen, time basically freezes on you, and it blows.

  
  


Thankfully, I didn't have an encounter with Boscha in any of the classes before then, so that was less headaches and anxiety for me. I'd love to be confident, but that's just not in me currently.

  
  


I did see that green haired girl again in a class. I think it was science if I remember. While the teacher was blabbing on, I saw her near the middle of the room. She was focused on everything he said. She must be a real hard worker, which is admirable to say the least. Considering I saw her rolling with Boscha a few times today, it's safe to say she is a part of her crew. At the very least, she doesn't look intimidating to talk to.

  
  


Unfortunately I couldn't do that because I was pulled to the front to introduce myself again with the class. It seems like I was the only new student in this entire damn school or I just got into a group that has had the same kids for the previous years.

  
  


I was less of a mess this time around. Even though most of the people in there I didn't recognize from homeroom excluding the girl, I had no signs of any intimidating faces or judgemental looks peering at me. I kept it safe though, and didn't blab about Azura. The last thing I wanted was some other kid to critique me about my taste.

  
  


I sat back down at my desk and as I did, I felt another tap on my shoulder. I felt nervous turning to see who did it, but that fear quickly left as I saw welcoming faces to my side.

  
  


"So you're the new girl I've heard about huh? Yeah I remember you from homeroom. My name is Viney, nice to meet you."

  
  


Before I could say a word, a boy from my left tapped my shoulder as well, with the same welcoming face.

  
  


"And my name is Jerbo. Nice to see a new face around here!"

  
  


"Heh...thank you…" I felt blush appear on my face as my embarrassment kicked in. I wasn't really expecting more warm greetings like this after homeroom, so I was panicking internally about what I should do.

  
  


"It's nice to know that I'm not entirely surrounded by rude people for once.." I said quietly, which caught the ear of Viney.

  
  


"I feel you there. It was the same way for me last year, but lemme give you some advice Luz-" she was about to continue before Jerbo chimed in.

  
  


"She is not gonna punch whoever puts her down. Doing that would cause serious consequences for her, even a possible expulsion." Viney scoffed at the comment, and turned forwards.

  
  


"Whatever Jerbo. Stupid rules can't hold me back forever." I found myself chuckling at the comment, which also caused Viney to chuckle back.

  
  


"I see you got yourself a sense of humor too? That's nice to hear, unlike this man over here." She gestured to Jerbo, who scoffed back.

  
  


"I too have humor. Just….not the kind that involves any physical violence...that's all." Viney laughed again, which caused the teacher to stop his lecture and look back at us.

  
  


"Hey, you three! If you can't tell, I'm trying to teach here! Please keep your mouths shut!" He coughed in his hand before continuing his talk. Viney leaned in towards me.

  
  


"We'll talk more at lunch if you can find us alright?"

  
  


I felt my heart beat rapidly at the comment. Now I had two groups of people wanting to know more about me at lunch. Despite the shit start, it seems like things are going out smoothly.

  
  


I gave Viney a thumbs up, before redirecting my attention forwards, but before I fully did, I glanced at the green hair girl once more. There was something in my subconscious that was wanting me to talk to her, but how would I even be able to? What could I even say?

  
  


I'll figure that out later I suppose.

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


By the time the lunch bell rang, I was pretty exhausted. Math class was killing me with all the formulas the teacher hit us on the FIRST DAY. I did them obviously, but god damn some teachers really don't know when to lay off with work.

  
  


Anyways, lunch finally came around and I felt my excitement rise up through me, but so did my anxiousness. This was new to me, I never had anyone do this willingly. No one at my old school chose to sit with me, so I honestly didn't know what to expect.

  
  


I left the food area and entered the sea of kids all around the enormous room. Given the size of the school itself, it wasn't surprising to see this place packed, but that meant finding Willow, Gus, Viney and Jerbo kinda difficult.

  
  


Fortunately, Viney wasn't too hard to find as she surprised me from behind with Jerbo. She chuckled as she saw me fix myself, as I almost dropped my food.

  
  


"Jesus, you know how to get the attention huh?" I dryly chuckled as I let my heart relax from pumping so fast.

  
  


"Just what I do best." She winked at me, while Jerbo lightly sighed from behind. "Anyways, you find a seat yet?"

  
  


"Not yet no. I'm also waiting for two other people as well. They wanted to talk with me as well." I was about to inform them who to look for, but my eyes caught a glance of Gus's head within the mix of other heads and bodies. Sure enough when I walked over, he and Willow were chatting about something else.

  
  


"There she is!" Willow pointed at me while Gus spun around to see me.

  
  


"Hey Luz, glad to see you again." Gus said, while noticing the other two. "I see you made some other friends here too."

  
  


"Yeah...this is Jerbo and Viney. I believe they are in our homeroom." Willow chuckled for a moment, which momentarily confused me.

  
  


"Oh I remember Viney alright. Can't forget the lab incident from last year." Viney then started chuckling with Willow as we all sat down at the table. 

  
  


"Oh man that was insane! The teacher was PISSED!" Viney threw up her hands in exaggeration while I listened in surprised and confused.

  
  


"No duh, you blew up half of a god damn table! How did you manage to only get a few days of ISS?" Viney shrugged her arms.

  
  


"They said something about it being my 'first offense' last year or something. I didn't even have to pay for it either. The school replaced it." I found myself lightly chuckling at the story, but at the same time being in awe on how this girl is still alive.

  
  


"Jesus...how do you still have your arms?" I jokingly asked, as she turned at me with another laugh.

  
  


"I walked away from the experiment like an _intellect_ , and the next thing I knew, I heard sizzling and _BOOM_. Half of the table was basically gone." I looked over at Jerbo, who gave me a shrug.

  
  


"I wasn't in that class last year, so don't look at me for anything about it." Viney was laughing again.

  
  


"Yeah, ever since that incident, Jerbo became my mom basically! He was relentless with it!" Jerbo shot a confused and dirty look at Viney while everyone else was laughing. 

  
  


"I didn't become your mom, what are you even talking about?!" Viney chuckled again as she faced him.

  
  


"So all those classes afterwards, you basically being on my ass about everything wasn't you being a mom huh? 'Viney come on, don't make a mess! Viney come on, focus on your work. Come on Viney, don't blow up another god damn table.' Jerbo's face lightly turned pink as he crossed his arms and looked away.

  
  


"You're exaggerating…"

  
  


That story made me remember an incident at my old school. A school play. I shuddered at that memory as it was a memory I wanna forget. I thought about bringing it up, but I decided against it.

  
  


"So Luz, you got any bizarre stories from your old school? Did you blow up a table or something?" Gus asked me, as everyone looked at my direction. Once again it felt like a spotlight was beamed on me, as all eyes were pinned on me. I kept my composure and took a breath.

  
  


"Not...not really...no."

  
  


"Not really huh? Well that's not necessarily a no. Come on, tell us! I bet it was crazy!" Willow said, while smirking. Viney laughed and chirped in. "Probably not as crazy as a table blowing up though."

  
  


I contemplated about continuing the lie. I promised myself I wouldn't bring up my past. I didn't want anyone to see me as a freak. Especially when I'm actually getting some friends for once, but their eagerness to hear this story was very visible, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I guess I'll take this one chance.

  
  


"Well...I-um...I was in this school play...it was a fantasy play or something...and instead of following the script….I uh….I made my own version." I felt my heart beat hard as I recalled the embarrassing memory to the people in front of me. I didn't look up at them, because I was scared of seeing judging faces. Not to mention my face was blushing hard, so I didn't want them to see that either.

  
  


"I packed a bunch of….linked sausages in my gown….and well...you can expect what I did next." I mimicked my play from my past, moving my hands near my chest, pulling away and pretending I was pulling my "guts" out while making a pitifully weak "bleh" sound. I nervously chuckled, before being bombarded by huge laughter coming from everyone else. At first I felt defeated. Like, I must be a freak to them now, but to my surprise, they weren't thinking that at all.

  
  


"I stand corrected! That is insane Luz!" Viney barely was able to get that one out as she laughed, curling up from the pain she was getting from laughing so hard.

  
  


"The teachers must've been raving about that!" Jerbo chimed in, also clutching his stomach in pain from laughing. I found myself slowly laughing with them too. I really wasn't expecting this reaction to come from them, so it came as a shock.

  
  


After about 5 minutes, they finally calmed down, wiping their eyes from tears, and looked back at me with smiles.

  
  


"That was great Luz. I would've loved the play even better if I was there!" Gus said, while patting me on the back. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment from that thought, and I dryly chuckled along with them.

  
  


As I looked up, I noticed something from the corner of my eye. Something green. I looked over and there in one of the round tables was that girl again. She was by herself, reading some kind of book. From here I couldn't tell, but it seemed like she was just relaxing.

  
  


"Hey uh Gus, random question, but who is that girl?" I pointed his direction to where she was sitting. "I keep seeing her around today."

  
  


"Oh, that's Amity Blight. She is one of the more well known girls here at Hexside, although she isn't that of a talkative one. She likes to really keep to herself. At least to people who aren't her friends." I looked back at her as she took a bite out of her lunch before proceeding to her book.

  
  


"Amity huh?" I asked, while Gus nodded. "She seems to be in a couple of my classes, maybe I should introduce myself to her." I started to stand up, but Willow looked up with me with a hint of concern.

  
  


"I'd be careful with that though. She's part of Boscha's crew, and I noticed how she made your start here...rather unfulfilling." I looked back at Amity, before looking around the cafeteria before locating Boscha's magenta hair in a circle on the opposite side.

  
  


"She's alone, I'll be quick anyways." I trotted up and walked over to Amity's direction. As soon as I left the table, I felt my soul leave me. My anxiety spiked up immediately and I could feel myself losing the words I was gonna say to her. I stopped for a moment to process what I was gonna say, and to calm my composure before finally walking to her table. She didn't seem to notice me as I walked up, so I took this chance to breathe in and let my words out.

  
  


"Uh hey...your name's Amity...right? I guess my sudden appearance started her, as she lightly jumped from her chair. She lowered the book and looked up with a confused look.

  
  


"I think you might've seen me in some classes, but I'm the new girl here. My name is Luz. I figured that if I was gonna be in some of your classes, I'd let you know who I was." Amity looked at me, and then turned towards her book again.

  
  


"Oh….that's cool…." She continued to read her book, as I slowly backed away. Well I figured she didn't care, so I was about to turn away before I noticed what the book was. It was volume 3 of Azura, and I felt my excitement rush up to my mouth.

  
  


"Wait! You like Azura too?!" Once again I started her and she looked up with an irritated look before she realized what I said.

  
  


"Uh...yeah? Why do you ask?" I was about to talk about my experiences with it, before she lightly gasped and looked back. "Wait, didn't you mention that you liked Azura in homeroom?"

  
  


I nodded my head excitedly and I could see a smirk formed on her lips, but she looked forwards and it quickly disappeared. Confused, I looked over to where she looked, and I saw Boscha, looking back at us with a face of annoyance. She put her Azura book away, and quickly got up.

  
  


"I'm...I'm sorry…..I gotta go.." she threw her trash away and walked over to the group. I could see Boscha questioning Amity, while from the looks of it she was denying it. Boscha gave one look back at me with a scowl, and then turned away. I didn't know what Amity was like with the group, but judging by that reaction, I can tell that Boscha had high control of her.

  
  


I felt really bad, but I also felt angry towards Boscha. Amity seemed like a nice girl, why did Boscha have to control her like that? Stupid privilege bitch.

  
  


After I was done internally ranting, i walked back over to the group I was with, and they gave me all confused looks.

  
  


"How did it go? We saw her walk away from you? Did it not go well?" Jerbo asked, as I sat back down.

  
  


"No...it was actually going fine, until Boscha got involved." I shook my head as I rested it on my hand.

  
  


"Yeah, Boscha is real controlling of her group." Willow said, as she took a bite of her food.

  
  


"You don't say." I sat back up and looked at her. "We had those kinds of people back in my old school. Very privileged and believe everyone was trash. They are the worse." I shook my head again. "Amity doesn't seem that bad though, she doesn't look like she acts that way." I looked back and saw that the group was now gone.

  
  


"Well, there isn't much you can do now. If you can find her again later, then try to talk to her again." Gus suggested, as I kept my eyes focused on their previous location. I want to get to know her so badly now. Seeing as she likes Azura, I'm real interested to see where we could go. Maybe we have more interests? Maybe similar hobbies? I wanna know. But Gus is right, I can't do anything now.

  
  


"I guess you're right...I'll look for her later." 

  
  


I proceeded to spend the rest of that lunch wave eating my food and chatting with my new friends, but simultaneously wishing that conversation with Amity didn't get prematurely interrupted.


	3. Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to chapter 3 of The New Girl!
> 
> Not much I should say here, it's a straight forwards chapter with Luz, Willow and some more Boscha too.
> 
> I'm not sure what I'll do with the next chapter. Maybe a time jump to a week or so? Not too sure yet. I'll think of it when I start writing it.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, I'll see you next time! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

"THERE'S AN AZURA BOOK CLUB HERE?!" I shouted at Willow and Gus, as they slowly backed away from my sudden eagerness. "Sorry..but seriously, there is???"

  
  


"Yeah, although it isn't an official club from the school. A student here made it at some point last year." Gus shrugged his shoulders as he walked forwards. "We don't know who made it, or who else is in it." 

  
  


"Oh well you can bet your ass I'm about to sign up for that immediately! Where can I do that?" Willow stepped forwards in front of Gus.

  
  


"The main office has sign up sheets for all the clubs. You can go down now as we pass to the next class." I blankly just stared at Willow until she realized. "Oh right. You're new here. Here, I'll walk with you there. Once you get to know Hexside, traversing these halls will be easy." 

  
  


"Well, the rest of us are gonna go to our separate classes now, we'll see you soon Luz. It was fun talking to you!" The rest of the group waved goodbye as they disappeared within the sea of kids. I stuck close to Willow as we progressed forwards, but there were many times where I almost lost her within the halls. She's a fast walker I must say.

  
  


"So Willow...you joined this school last year with everyone else right?" She nodded her head. "What was your first year like? You know...what were the people like?" Willow slowed down and walked at my pace.

  
  


"It was honestly simple. I mean, we were all new obviously. Freshman year for the most part goes by easy for everyone. Some people came here with their friends from middle school...like Boscha." I sensed a bit of aggravation when Willow said her name, but she quickly brushed that off before I could question it. 

  
  


"I came here alone. No one from my old school chose to come here. That didn't stop me though from looking for new people to talk to." 

  
  


I thought about the reason why I came here in the first place. I didn't even _have friends_. I was always alone. How am I suppose to be confident when I never had the encouragement in the first place.

  
  


Willow saw the look I had, and she patted my shoulder, a gesture that was alien to me.

  
  


"It's gonna be okay Luz. You're already doing good for the most part. You made four new friends today, and a potential fifth. Just keep being yourself, and ignore all the people who will put you down." My mind flashed Boscha in front of me, and I felt my blood run cold immediately.

  
  


"Yeah, I'll try…" I had a thought for a moment. I was considering something. I wanted to say something, to get something off my chest to my new friend next to me, but I was scared. My mind was fighting itself with this decision, but before I felt myself back down, I opened my mouth.

  
  


"Hey Willow, can I...tell you something..?" I immediately felt my gut churn with anxiety, and the twitching in my fingers were coming in. She looked over at me with a smile and nodded. 

  
  


"Yeah go ahead! You can tell me anything." 

  
  


I took a deep breath.

  
  


"Well...you had friends...at your old school…..but I didn't…" I looked away from Willow, l didn't want to see the judging face she would have by now. "That's why I came here in the first place….I was a loser...I still feel like I am…"

  
  


I heard Willow sigh, and patted my shoulder once again. 

  
  


"You weren't alone with that Luz...lemme tell you something. I was quite the loner too." I shot my direction to her and gave a surprised look. How could no one like her? From what I know, she's a sweet girl who's really nice.

  
  


"People thought I was weird because...I like plants and I like to grow stuff. I basically live on a farm, and got my green thumb from my parents."

  
  


"Are you SERIOUS?!" Once again I surprised Willow with my sudden burst, but I couldn't help it. "That's it?! That's such a stupid reason!" Willow looked down and rubbed her head with her hand.

  
  


"Well, people have different outlook with things, and the people at my old school just didn't like me." I felt horrible for Willow. I can't even imagine the kind of bullying she had to deal with, just because of her interests.

  
  


"But take my advice Luz. Don't let them get to you. That's something my parents would tell me whenever I came home feeling shitty. They would say 'Sweetheart if you put all of that thought into what those people think, all you're gonna do is feed into their lies. You are special and unique, don't let some bozos take that away from you'. I think it has been the best piece of advice I have ever gotten." 

  
  


She was right with that. That is some pretty good advice. Maybe I should try it out too.

  
  


We took one more turn around a corner and we saw the door to the office in front of us. Willow looked over at me and chuckled.

  
  


"Well that was a nice walk." I smiled at her.

  
  


"Yeah, it really was…" Willow reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, and handed it to me.

  
  


"I gotta get to class now before the bell rings again, but use this map to help you find your way back. You got your schedule right? You know what class you go to now?" I have history now I believe. I was going back to Ms. Clawthorne again.

  
  


"Yes I do." Willow nodded and was turning around, but I grabbed her arm before she left.

  
  


"Hey...thanks for talking with me...that was a first…opening up to someone like that…" she smiled and lightly punched my arm

  
  


"It's nothing. I am always willing to talk if something's up. Same with the others. If anything is bothering you, come to us and we'll help you out." She gave me a smirk as well. "Oh and don't worry, that conversation will stay with us only." I chuckled and gave her a thumbs up. "Thanks Willow."

  
  


She nodded again, and quickly disappeared into the hallway. I looked at the map, tracked where I was and walked into the office to sign up for the Azura book club.

  
  


\--------------------------

  
  


Looking at the map Willow gave me, I walked up to the door that led into History, and swung it open. I was met with Ms. Clawthorne writing something on the board, and she turned around to see me nervously standing there.

  
  


"Oh, there you are Luz. What happened, did you get lost in the halls?" She asked, as I stumbled my way in the room.

  
  


"I went to the office. I heard there were clubs I could sign up for.." I already knew I was late. The bell rang like 4 minutes before I reached the room, so why was I so nervous again?

  
  


"Did they not write you a note?" 

  
  


"...what now?" I felt my mind go blank, as I felt my muscles twitch. I didn't know I was supposed to get a note from the office. They never mentioned that. Ms. Clawthorne sighed and gave me a light smile. 

  
  


"Don't worry Luz, it's your first day. It'll slide today. Try to be on time next time though. If you needed to go to the office or elsewhere, perhaps ask me or any teacher about it during class." The teacher looked around the class and pointed her arm out. "There's a seat over there, settle down and get your computer out. You didn't miss much."

  
  


I looked over and as I glanced over at the room, I saw the magenta hair. God dammit, Boscha is in this class? That's not even the worst part. I'm sitting to her left today.

  
  


I sighed, and walked over to the desk. I felt everyone staring at me as I made my way there, and I felt my anxiety kick up again. I started to rush to the seat, my anxiety calms down when I'm sitting typically.

  
  


Ms. Clawthorne redirected her attention back on the board with some tapping. She didn't say much during this time, she was just doing the typical new year stuff every school does. Y'know how it is, telling us what to expect, what the expectations are and so on. As I was listening, I felt a tap on my right arm, and I felt my nerve kick up. I couldn't just ignore her, so I turned to see what she wanted.

  
  


"So...what was going on in lunch today?" Boscha whispered with a slight sneer in her voice.

  
  


"Uh...w-what are you talking about..?" I tried to play dumb. I know it wouldn't work, but I gave it a shot anyways. She just gave me a stare before carrying on.

  
  


"You know what I mean. You were talking to Amity right?" The way she stared at me gave me goosebumps, but the way she mentioned Amity's name made me feel a bit angry. She said it with such….disgust I guess. I don't know how to describe it.

  
  


"Oh...yeah I was. I just wanted to let her know who I was, because I saw her in my other classes." Boscha just scoffed at me.

  
  


"You already did that with your shit introduction in homeroom…I think she already knows how **_pathetic_** you are, you know since you also read Azura. What a fucking joke." I felt my soul leave me by that insult, but I also felt my blood rise with anger. Knowing that Amity reads Azura too, she was basically calling her pathetic too, and that was far from the truth. She seemed like a nice girl.

  
  


I just turned away from her and focused back on the board. "Just….please leave me a-alone…we gotta listen…" I felt myself shake from that. I don't think I ever really "talked back" to anyone like that before. Not that it was impressive, but it was different than just taking it and doing nothing. Boscha didn't like that. She continued to call me names like bitch and coward, until the teacher finally heard her whispers.

  
  


"Boscha is there something so special you wanna discuss about to the class?" I can feel the irritation that Ms. Clawthorne had about her, and Boscha quickly silenced herself. "That's better. Let me continue my class please."

  
  


A moment later, a crumpled up piece of paper landed on my table, and even though I shouldn't have looked at it, I did anyways.

  
  


_Amity doesn't even like you. Stop trying to impress her Luzer._

  
  


That got me pretty hard. Out of everything interesting, getting to know more about Amity is what really excited me. I wanted to know if we had even more connections. I don't want her to hate me. I want to be her friend somehow. Not to mention the nickname too. People would say that to me constantly at my old school, and even though I felt numb to it, hearing it again in this new school gave me a real gut punch.

  
  


Thankfully, after that terrible note, she took the hint and left me alone, but I couldn't shake my mind away from the note. I really don't know why it was getting me this good. It's just a rude note, it can't be true…can it? My mind questioned me about it countless times, and it drove me insane.

  
  


Finally, class ended and the bell rang for the last period I believe. Everyone walked out of the room, but I was slow on that. My depressed self took a moment to grab my stuff and head for the door. Ms. Clawthorne must've saw my look, because she pulled me to the side once again.

  
  


"Did that girl say something to you that bugged you Luz?" She asked sympathetically, and that alone almost made me confess to her, but I didn't want to stir up some issues with Boscha and her crew already. I'd rather move on with it.

  
  


"No Ms. Clawthorne, it was nothing, I swear." I felt my fake smile deteriorate over the sentence, but it doesn't seem like she doubted me. She stepped back with a small smile.

  
  


"Well, don't forget I'll be here if you need anything, along with the teachers." I gave her a smile as I proceeded out of the class.

  
  


"Thanks Ms. I'll make sure I will if I need it."

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


The sun stood high over the school as we all exited the premises. Hundreds of kids poured out of the school, making their ways towards buses, pickups and their own cars. I still can't believe the amount of people around honestly, my old school never had this many.

  
  


I unfortunately didn't see Willow or anyone else I recognized, which kinda sucked, but at least I didn't run into Boscha again.

  
  


I stepped towards the pickup curb, and saw the white sedan of my mother pull up next to me. I opened the door and sat down. I saw the nervous look she had on her face. Clearly something was up.

  
  


"Soooo, how did your first day go? Did it go good mija?" She asked me, looking at me with slight concern. I thought about the question, and thought about everything that happened today. Sure, it was riddled with a lot of anxiety and embarrassing moments, along with some annoying situations like Boscha, but I made my first day memorable with my new friends. Willow, Gus, Viney and Jerbo are all great, and them alone made my day even more special.

  
  


"It was great mom. I think I'm gonna really like it here…" I saw the concern smile quickly change to a huge grin as she started to pull out.

  
  


"Oh I'm so glad! I told you Hexside was a good choice. We'll discuss it all at home, all about your day and your new friends alright?" I couldn't say no to her with that goofy smile on. It caused me to smile alongside with her.

  
  


"Definitely mom, I think you may like it."

  
  


The complex soon disappeared behind us, and I was already waiting for tomorrow to come.


	4. The Azura Book Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to chapter 4 of The New Girl! I couldn't wait much longer, so you guys are getting this chapter one day early.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it, I'm pretty sure it involves what most people have been waiting for. I'll see you guys next time!
> 
> -CircularCreations

It's been a week since school started. A week since I joined Hexside, and I must say, I'm enjoying it alot.

  
  


It's not perfect. It's far from perfect when it comes down to everything. Not like I'm not getting bombarded by work. Some teachers don't know when to relax with that crap. Speaking of teachers, there's some I just down right hate. My gym teacher for example is someone who is just obnoxious with his job. All we do ia the warm ups for like 30 minutes, and then we finally do the fun stuff for only 10 minutes. It doesn't help that he has to constantly yell at us during it too.

  
  


Thankfully with teachers like that, there's always teachers that I'm gonna like. Mrs. Clawthorne for example is just that. She's the nicest teacher I know, and she's so sweet to me. She actually cares about me and my concerns, unlike my old teachers and helps me out alot. Hell, she moved my seat away from Boscha after the first day because she already knew I didn't enjoy her company.

  
  


Speaking of Boscha, she still has been a nuisance to me. Even though I'm away from her in History, I'm still residing next to her locker. We always bump into each other in the morning and at the end of the day, and each time she sees me, she has to make some remark about me. Some days I can tune her out. Other days, it takes a toll on me mentally. I wish I could say I could ignore her at all times, but my mind would say otherwise.

  
  


I barely see her though, I'm mostly around my friends in classes. Me and Willow are in a study hall together on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and we use this time to get to know more about each other, while talking about our interest. Me, Jerbo and Viney are also in my gym classes, and we always partner up in games, or stick close to each other during warm ups, and it's fun to goof off with them. Then there is Gus, who is in my English class. He is a real intellect I must say. Now he isn't the best of the best, but he knows about what the hell he talks about, especially writing. That's something he's really good at, despite his constant worries of his near perfect grades in the class.

  
  


Unfortunately I haven't had a good chance to talk to Amity at all throughout the week. Ever since Boscha saw us talking during lunch, Amity has been rather distant of me. She's always close to Boscha and her crew in any class that they're together in, homeroom included. That kinda hurts because I really wanna talk to her, but I have my fingers crossed it's nothing to do with me being a loser. Whenever I see her within the group, she's not even talking much. She seems to be in her own world, doodling or just staring off.

  
  


I swear, her dead planned expression screams "get me the fuck out of here" to me, and that makes me feel bad.

  
  


Anyways, it is the start of a new week and today I'm really excited because I can finally go into my club for the first time! Club days are like once or twice within a month and this is the first one of the year, and because of me signing up on the first day, I qualified into participating today. I grabbed all of the Azura books I had at home, shoved them into my backpack and went to school.

  
  


I thought twice about bringing them out immediately because I didn't want Boscha to have a word about it. Considering she can peer over in my locker with ease, I know she would have a blast making me feel like a clown for the day.

  
  


"Hello  _ Luz. _ " She spat my name with venom. I just stayed focused on my own locker.

  
  


"So today is Club Day, and if I remember, you signed up for something on the first day." She looked at me with a sly, judging look, and even though I turned away again, I felt her stare hit my neck.

  
  


"What club did you go for, huh?" I can feel the sarcasm leave her mouth after that sentence.

  
  


"why does it matter to you?" I asked quietly. I'm still not capable of fully standing up to myself yet, if that wasn't clear enough.

  
  


"Why does it matter to  **_me_ ** _? _ Well I was just interested. Judging by  _ your _ interests, you make some poor choices. I was just wondering to see how pitiful this choice was." She giggled, as she closed her locker. "Well, I'll be seeing you around  _ Luz _ ." She did it again.

  
  


She turned around and back towards the hallway, and I saw Amity right in front of me. She was watching the situation, and from her look, I can tell she had some sympathy. I waved hi at her, and it seemed like she was about to say something, but someone interrupted us again.

  
  


" _ Coming  _ Blight?"

  
  


Amity shut her mouth again, and looked down before grabbing her stuff and closing her locker. She looked at me once more, with that dead panned stare again, and I felt my heart ping with hurt for her. She disappeared in the hall with her, leaving me alone once again.

  
  


_ She doesn't like you Luz, stop trying to impress her. _

  
  


My mind once again reminded me of the note Boscha gave me a week ago. I still couldn't let that go. Well, at least my mind couldn't. I really couldn't comprehend the idea of Amity not wanting to talk to me, and I don't know why.

  
  


I shook the thoughts out of my head. She was clearly about to say something to me, but then Boscha ruined it again. Sighing, I closed my locker door and headed off to homeroom.

  
  


\------------------

  
  


It felt forever until the bell rang for clubs. I just sat at my desk, impatiently waiting for the bell to finally ring. I didn't bring my books out, so I couldn't take my mind off by reading, nor did it seem like Willow came in this morning. I don't know where she was, but I didn't see her. Gus and the others were here though, and I did talk to them for a little.

  
  


The other thing I kept doing was glancing at Amity. Every now and then I would just take a peek over to her direction with Boscha as she gossiped with others, and she was doodling once again. I couldn't see the drawing from where I was, but I could tell she was putting effort. 

  
  


Eventually the bell finally rang, and I was about to zoom out of the class, but I held myself back for a second. I wanted Boscha to go first. I kept my books in my locker for a reason, I wasn't wanting her to see them now.

  
  


I waited a minute for her to leave the classroom, and then left myself. I went towards my locker and was relieved to not see Boscha anywhere near her locker. I looked back and forth, making sure she wasn't near and quickly unlocked it and grabbed my books. Looking at my map that Willow gave me, I located the room was on the upper floor, so I made my way upstairs.

  
  


I felt my gut squirm as I took every step. Honestly I couldn't tell how I was feeling this time. I mean I was excited, yeah. This is a club all about my interest in Azura, whoever else is in there has to also like it, right? Even though I tried reasoning myself with that obvious logic, I still couldn't shake the fear off.  _ Am I gonna get judged in there still? Are the people gonna be ruthless with my opinions? Maybe they're not as diehard fans as I am. Maybe they're just casual readers, and if they saw me going off about something in the story, they would heavily judge me. _

  
  


I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that I missed the room. Doubling back, I stood in front of the metallic door in front of me. I processed my arm to go out and open the door, but my body stayed frozen. I was in fear, just standing in front of this door.

  
  


_ Maybe I made a mistake...I don't know what to expect behind there… _

  
  


I finally managed to grab onto the door handle, but I still stood there motionless, processing everything. I could hear my heart pumping, that's how nervous I was. I took in several deep breaths, and when I finally felt my heart calm down, I swung the door open.

  
  


This was not what I was expecting.

  
  


The classroom was basically empty. There was no sign of life in the room, even the teacher wasn't there. Well, I thought at first there was no one in there and that I went to the wrong room, until I took a step forwards and caught something in the corner of my eye. Something green.

  
  


I whipped my head to the corner, and there in the corner looking up at me was Amity. She was holding the same Azura book I saw her reading a week ago. She looked...surprised really. Her eyes were slightly widened as we both stared at each other in silence. I could feel the tension rising in me and I felt myself stiff up in front of her, as if I was trying not to be seen.

  
  


I finally made one awkward cough before I spoke.

  
  


"Oh, hey Amity….you're in this club too?" I asked.

  
  


_ Of course she would be here, she's the only other person that likes Azura. _

  
  


She placed her book down on the desk and directed her attention to me.

  
  


"Uh yeah...clearly I'm right here." I saw a little blush appear on her cheeks as she shyly rubbed the back of her head. "I didn't know you found out about the clubs."

  
  


"Yeah, Willow on the first day helped me with that." Amity lightly nodded as I went to the desk next to her. "Does someone usually sit here?"

  
  


She shook her head, and it looked like she was about to say something, but kept it internal.

  
  


Saying the first few minutes of sitting down next to her were awkward was an understatement. Once again I could feel the tension between us, as well as my anxiety. After all this time of wanting to finally talk to her, I finally have that chance, without anyone interrupting us again, but the longer I sat there, the more my anxiety showed. I felt my limbs start to shake as sweat from my forehead came down. God I was a mess there.

  
  


"So...how did you exactly find out about this club..?" Amity broke the silence, which made me jump lightly. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like she noticed.

  
  


"O-Oh, uh...Willow again was the one that told me about it in the first place." I saw Amity go into thought before she nodded.

  
  


"Hmm...interesting…" she turned her head away from me, which peaked my curiosity of why she asked.

  
  


"Why are you asking? Was this suppose to be a secret club?" I gasped at that thought, jumping to conclusions immediately. I scrambled out of my chair and started grabbing my things. "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was like that, I'll go-"

  
  


"Luz relax, it's not that." She was chuckling as she said that, which caused me to blush hard with embarrassment. I felt my face light up from it, and it felt very hot. Amity saw my immediate reaction and stopped laughing.

  
  


"Sorry, that was uncalled for." I shook my head and redirected my attention to her.

  
  


"No no, it's fine! I'm just something you would call a screw up." A dry laugh came out of me, as to try to alleviate the situation, but I saw Amity shaking her head towards me.

  
  


"Relax Luz, you seem fine to me. I was being vague with my reasons for answering…" more blushing came from the girl as she looked at her book. "I asked because no one has bothered to join…"

  
  


Amity's smile slowly went down as that sentence left her. It wasn't a depressing one, more of a blank/emotionless one, as if she was numb.

  
  


"Honestly it surprises me that anyone actually knows about the club...I tried to keep it a secret…" a hint of concern was in her tone, and I thought about what she must've thought about me being here now. Was she worried I would do something?

  
  


I shook my head and looked at her.

  
  


"Well...you won't have to worry about it getting out, I can keep it as a secret, if that's what you want." Amity looked over at me and lightly smiled.

  
  


"That would be nice..thank you." 

  
  


"It's nothing. I'm pretty sure we're the only ones here that like Azura anyways. I'm surprised to see someone else liking it." Amity shot me a confused look, so I thought about elaborating.

  
  


"Yeah...no one in my old school thought it was a good book...they thought it was weird…" unwanted memories of being bullied about the book flooded my mind, and I could already feel myself deteriorate from them. 

  
  


"Well hey...those people must not have good taste then Luz." I wasn't expecting some kind of comfort from her, but it was a welcome gesture. With my spirits back up, I chuckled at the comment.

  
  


"You're right! They don't know what's good or not because they're not good!" Amity chuckled at the comment and I felt something inside of me flutter. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but I shrugged it off as I sat back down. I looked over at Amity's only book again, and then back at her.

  
  


"Say...is that the only volume you have?" Amity looked down and gave a sly smile.

  
  


"Yeah…my parents never got around to getting me any of the other books I wanted." She lowered her head and blankly stared at her book, but an idea popped into my head that would cheer her up.

  
  


"Well, you're in for some good news then. I got every copy of the series so far, and since you haven't seen the amazingness of the rest of it, I shall let you read them!" I grabbed my books and plopped them onto her desk, as she stared at them in awe.

  
  


"Luz...you don't have to...I can always find another way to read the books…" she looked at me with uncertainty, but I shrugged her concerns off.

  
  


"Nonsense! You're here in the Azura book club not even knowing about the other stories! You need to read these!" Once again, I felt something flutter in me as I thought about what I was gonna say next. "You know...since we're...Azura buds or something l-like that..if we're even there y-yet." I felt my stomach squirm again, but those insecurities soon went away as I saw Amity smile and blush at me again.

  
  


"Yeah...Azura buds...that sounds nice. Thank you Luz..."

  
  


I don't know what it was about that smile, but I swear it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

  
  


Amity reached for the first volume and smirked at me.

  
  


"Why don't we start at the beginning then? It's a new year, so let rewind and start over again?" I chuckled at the request and slid my seat over to her desk.

  
  


"I don't see why not. I read the story many times already. It wouldn't hurt to try again!"

  
  


She giggled, as we both flipped to the first page and read together.

  
  


And after that, all insecurities of her not liking me disappeared entirely.


	5. Getting to Know Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am here to bring you guys chapter 5! This chapter is kinda shorter than the others so far, but bare with me, it's still as important. You'll see what I mean. 
> 
> Plus next chapter is gonna be longer and a little more...angsty in a way. Not too much so don't think I'm about to hit you with some shit. Once again you'll see when chapter 6 comes out.
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'll see you next time! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

There were many times in my life where I felt so content and happy, that nothing could ever top what was happening. Being in the Azura Club with Amity for the first period and a half was seriously just that.

  
  


I could feel time just slow down when it was just me and her reading the first few chapters of Volume One of Azura. Getting to see someone excited about something I'm very invested in is the best feeling ever. Seeing Amity's reaction to the beginning once again gave me such a good feeling inside.

  
  


During that period, we didn't just read. We used the time to actually get to know each other. Considering Boscha was always with her, and acting as the gate between me and Amity interacting, this period was the best chance we had to talk. She asked me about my life and all that, and obviously I lied. I wasn't gonna tell her "yeah, my life is kinda shit. I grew up with no friends, no father figure and also lacked all of my social skills." There was no way in hell I was gonna tell her that.

  
  


I told her about the good stuff about my life, which even though that was small, I managed to have enough to interest her. I told her about my mom, and how she was a doctor. I told her when I discovered Azura when I was young. I even told her some other interests like how I like to skateboard a little and my interests in doodling, much like her.

  
  


To my surprise, she had very similar, if not identical interests too. Although she said she wasn't perfect, she was interested in trying out skateboarding. She also expressed her interest in drawing and said how she thinks it's pretty bad right now. I asked if I could see it, but I was met with a red face and a poor attempt of switching the subject. I hope one day I could see those sketches, I bet they would be nice.

  
  


Hell, we discovered that we live a BLOCK away from each other. I honestly don't know how we got into talking about our locations outside of school, but we mentioned it while ranting about how we couldn't talk much and both of us had the same reaction: pure excitement. I could tell she was happy about it by her eyes lighting up, and the big grin she had plastered on her face. I said it before and I'll say it again, that smile is something else. I can't describe it, but it makes me feel warm.

  
  


She also mentioned my choice in style in terms of my clothing. She said it actually fit with me, with the beanie and unzipped hoodie. She even snatched my beanie off me and tried it on. She claimed it was itchy, but I could tell by her tone she was just fucking around. Not gonna lie...she looked a little cute with my beanie.

  
  


Eventually, the bell rang and we were forced to go to our separate classes. I was bummed by it, since I wouldn't be able to talk to her anymore, but before she left, she made a promise with me that she would try to find a way to talk to me at some point today. She slipped me a piece of paper and said to hold onto it. She disappeared into the crowd of kids roaming the halls and it took almost 5 minutes for the smile on my face to go away.

  
  


\-----------------

  
  


"I knew it! You joined the Azura Book Club!" I heard the dreaded voice as I shoved my books back into my locker. I was way into my thoughts to really focus on Boscha, but here she is now, harassing me once more.

  
  


"I should've placed a bet on it. I called it. You are just as pathetic as I thought." She started to laugh at me, and all I could do is try my best to ignore her. After the amazing period with Amity, I didn't want to lose my happiness just yet, so I did my best to tune her out.

  
  


"You haven't failed to surprise me yet Luz, keep it up. I bet you have many more  _ interesting _ secrets that you'd like to keep hidden." She laughed once more as she closed her locker and disappeared. I scoffed at my locker before shutting the door. As I turned to walk, I saw Amity. My mood almost changed, until I heard Boscha yelling for Amity again. She looked over at me with a quick gaze.

  
  


"Boscha?"

  
  


"Boscha."

  
  


Amity clicked her tongue and gave me an apology, before she ran off with Boscha. I really wonder why Amity spends so much time with her. I might ask her later, I'm not too sure yet.

  
  


I turned my attention to my pocket real quick. The paper she gave me. I fiddled with the edges for a moment, before I decided to open it up.

  
  


_ Here's my number. Text me during lunch, I'll be checking.  _

The note gave me her phone number at the bottom, and near the top of the paper, there was a little doodle of Azura. Another note resided below it.

  
  


_ Since you asked so nicely before. _

  
  


I felt it again. The flutter in my gut, as if I was nervous. But I wasn't nervous this time. I was fucking thrilled. Yes, I wouldn't be able to talk to Amity in person, but messaging her at any time was fine by me. Not to mention that little doodle was just SO CUTE. How the hell could she say her drawings were garbage? It's such a smooth drawing. I know what I'm gonna nag her about later now.

  
  


That feeling though in my gut kept associating with Amity, and everytime I kept putting my mind to it, I would think about Amity too. I would think about how nice she was, how much similar we are to each other, how much fun she is and so on. I'd also think of the little details like her smile, and laugh. I felt my face heat up and it took me a moment to realize I was blushing. One look on my phone camera revealed it to be a heavy blush as well. My face was entirely pink.

  
  


I smiled as I put the note away. Shaking my head, I trotted all the way to my next class across the school.

  
  


\----------------

  
  


I was now in English class with Gus, and I simply could not focus on the board.

  
  


I kept looking at the note Amity gave me and just admiring everything about it. Her handwriting is very neat. It was easy to read and very stylish. It's like right there I could immediately tell who wrote this.

  
  


I looked down at her phone number, and smirked. I was only a period and a half away from talking to her again, and I couldn't wait. I imagined all the things I would say to her, and that once again brought in the feeling again.

  
  


I was still in shock about how Amity claimed she wasn't good at drawing. Her style was so cute and neat, that it was seriously impossible to say it was bad. I know I couldn't draw half as good as her work.

  
  


Eventually, Gus noticed me distracted on the note, and he must've got curious as he leaned in.

  
  


"What's got your attention here?" I jumped by the sudden appearance and he quickly backed off.

  
  


"I'm sorry! Didn't mean to startle you there."

  
  


I took a breather and looked back at him.

  
  


"It's fine, you just caught me off guard. What did you say?" He leaned back in and pointed at the paper.

  
  


"What's that?" I looked down at the paper and I could feel my stomach squirm with both anxiety and nervousness.

  
  


"Oh, this...uh Amity gave it to m-me. We finally got to talk in our club, and she gave me her number so we could talk more." My mind started rummaging through everything great about her and I went on. "She's amazing Gus! I don't know if you ever got to talk to her, but me and her have so many interests and similarities! She's also just a fun person to read with! She also said that my style is nice and that she wants to try out the stuff I do!" I took a breather before I looked at Gus who was just blankly staring at me.

  
  


"Hehe, sorry about that...I guess I'm just very excited about finally speaking to her." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

  
  


"Very excited I see." I gave him a confused look before he winked and it all clicked. Blushing, I turned away from him and shoved the note in my pocket.

  
  


"It's not like that G-Gus! We just started being friends, how could I like her if we just started to talk?" Gus shrugged his shoulders and turned away.

  
  


"Seems like you two have a good chemistry already, and judging by your attitude towards it, you know that." He smiled, and I felt more of my face blush up.

  
  


"W-Whatever. It's not like that!" He gave me a "mhm" before continuing with his work, and that left me alone with my thoughts.

  
  


_ Could he be right? Do I already have a crush on Amity? I can't have one already...can I? I mean, what would she like about me, regardless of our similar interests? I don't know, I don't seem that appealing, and I'm not even sure if she would like girls in the first place. Gus must be overthinking this. _

  
  


I wanted to believe my thoughts here, but Gus did bring up some good points. I was really happy when I finally spoke to Amity. Even before that I was wanting to talk to her so much. We did have a good chemistry starting out. We went on and on about everything in that beginning period, and it was the best period I have had so far. My mind was throwing a lot at me, and it left me with a lot of conflicting feelings.

  
  


I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize the bell rang 5 minutes later. Once I finally looked up, I realized people were packing up and getting ready to go to their next class. I quickly jumped up and got my stuff, and barely ran out with Gus. 

  
  


"So did you figure out whether I was wrong or right?" He smirked, which caused me to give him a nudge to the side.

  
  


"Please, we're just chill with each other right now. I don't get how I could have a crush on her as soon as I met her."

  
  


As soon as I finished that sentence, something green caught my eye. It was Amity, and she was alone in the hallway. She saw me and Gus walking in her direction, and a smile appeared.

  
  


"Oh, hey Luz!" My heart almost stopped when she said hi that way.

  
  


"Hey Amity." I looked around and didn't see Boscha anywhere. "Is Boscha finally giving you space or?" She smiled more.

  
  


"Apparently Boscha might've got in trouble in another class because she was fucking around with the lab stuff. Trying to impress people if I'm right. I don't know if she'll make it to lunch." She didn't need to say anymore to tell me what could happen. "If you see me by myself at the table again, feel free to come up, and we'll chat. If not, message me."

  
  


I nodded, and all I could do at that moment was just admire her. The way she spoke and the vibe she gave off to me was just amazing. The bell rang again, and she gripped her books more.

  
  


"Alright Luz, I'll hopefully see you later." She patted me on the shoulder and disappeared behind me. Gus, who heard everything, leaned in on me with a smug look on his face. I looked down at him and sighed.

  
  


"Okay, you're right. I may have a little crush on Amity." He chuckled as he elbowed me lightly.

  
  


"Heh, I know I am."


	6. Growing Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess, I bring you chapter 6 today! 
> 
> Now this chapter is more angsty than the others that have came out. Not too much, I'm not gonna be gut punching you, but it definitely got me a little when I was writing it. You'll see when you read it.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it, I'll see you guys next time!
> 
> -CircularCreations

Once again, waiting for lunch felt like an eternity. Didn't help I had math again, which made the period feel even longer. The teacher was going on about algebra equations in the slowest way possible. It wasn't even a full period, it was split in half because of today's schedule, but it felt ten times longer than that.

  
  


Like English, I barely paid attention. I was in my own little world, admiring the note. I seriously couldn't get it out of my head, I was going insane.

  
  


I was also reflecting about earlier too. I have a crush on Amity, and we just started talking as friends. I don't know why my mind is deciding to throw these feelings at me, but I'm not too sure if it's a good thing or not. Amity is really cool, and I'd love to spend more time with her, but I just became her friend. I can't just have these feelings immediately….right? That's weird isn't it? Wouldn't she be weirded out by me if she heard I had a crush on her?

  
  


That's something I couldn't bear to think about.

  
  


My mind was giving me so many conflicting signals. It kept reminding me of everything bad that could happen. Every single bad outcome. How Amity could find out. How she would be creeped out by me. How she could insult me relentlessly like all the other kids back in RVA. How she could actively avoid me, giving me harsh glances. It was giving me a headache. I could feel the anxiety crawl up my spine again, and as I thought more and more of those thoughts, the more and more I started to hate myself.

  
  


_If she finds out about it, you're gonna lose her. She's gonna be weirded out and not want anything to do with you. That's what happened to all of your_ **_other_ ** _crushes back then._

  
  


I felt my heart sink after that thought. It was right, I did lose the people I had crushes on. I barely knew them, and I liked them. Between being me being stupid and obvious, as well as rumors going out, lots of people stayed away from me. They all gave me the glaces and kept their distances, as if I was some kind of virus. That hurt me so much, and it still does thinking about it.

  
  


I thought about Hexside now, and how things seemed to be going better than before. I thought about how that could fuck up in seconds. How one reveal about me could get my new friends to stay away from me. Being the only open queer kid back at my old school caused some shit to come my way. People gave me so much shit because I was bi. They made fun of me, constantly assuming who I'd like next and even wrote stuff on my lockers. I don't want the same things to happen here. I actually have friends this time. If I lost them because of who I am, I don't know what I would do.

  
  


Thankfully, the bell finally rang and most of my thoughts popped away, but I was a shaky mess, so I took all of my stuff, rushed to my locker, shoved them in and ran all the way to the bathroom. I entered it, locked the door and stumbled to the mirror.

  
  


Those thoughts are unbearable. I wish I could just get rid of them, but I can’t. It’s in my mind. No matter where I go, or what I do in any given situation, I can’t escape from them. It’s those little voices in my head that give me reason to hate myself.

  
  


The thoughts were right though. Everytime they would say that I was weird, or stupid, or gross or something just as bad, I never denied it. That _was_ the truth. I mean, how _could_ I fight that? I had no one. No one wanted to be my friend. They all treated me like shit, and no matter how much I tried to fit in with people, it never worked, because I wasn't good enough for anyone. 

  
  


I wasn’t normal.

  
  


I looked up in the mirror and saw my own reflection. My disgusting self. The weirdo that nobody likes, regardless of anything. The queer kid. The girl who likes girls. The drama queen. It's bound to happen again. Soon enough, I'm gonna be alone. My friends are gonna leave me when they realize who I really am, and it's gonna hurt way more than it did before. 

  
  


It didn't take long after that thought for me to fall on my knees and silently cry my eyes out.

  
  


\---------------

  
  


I didn't stay in the bathroom for too long. Eventually I figured that I needed to go down to lunch before I missed it. I didn't want to keep Amity waiting, if she was free anyways. I really hoped she was, it would take a lot off my mind.

  
  


Cleaning myself up, I exited the bathroom and rushed down to the lunchroom. I don't think I was in there for too long, it only felt like 5 minutes passed, and lunch was about 25 minutes long, so I still had a bunch of time.

  
  


It only took another 3 minutes to finally reach the room. Not many kids were in line, so we must've been the last group of people. I didn't see Amity or anyone else I recognized in the line, so I assumed they were sitting down already. 

Three minutes later, I finally had my lunch in my hand, and I searched around for Amity. I didn't see Boscha standing anywhere in the room, so I was assuming that she wasn't there. That lightened my mood more, as I knew now that I could talk to Amity.

  
  


"Luz, over here!" I heard a familiar voice to my left, and when I looked, I saw Viney waving at me, with everyone else there. I gave a small smile to them.

  
  


"Hey guys, I would sit with you today, but Amity is actually free today I believe. Speaking of her, have any of you guys seen her?" I felt bad about not sitting with them today, but the small smiles they gave back gave me somewhat of an idea it was okay.

  
  


"I think I saw her go back there." Jerbo lifted his arm and pointed in front of me. I looked and sure enough, at one of the round tables to the right, I saw her. She was reading her book once again. I smiled and looked back.

  
  


"Thanks guys, I promise I'll sit with you another time." I still felt bad about it, but they all waved me off.

  
  


"It's okay Luz, it's just a day or so." Gus laughed as he gave me a sly look. "Go have fun." He gave me a wink and I felt the fluttering happen again.

  
  


"Thanks.." I felt myself blushing, so I turned away real quickly and walked over to her table. I felt the feeling grow as I got closer, but so did my anxiety. I was still a bit raw after my mini breakdown in the bathroom, so my mind was still fresh with making me feel like shit.

  
  


This time, she noticed me before I reached her, and she gave me a smile.

  
  


"Ah! there you are Luz, I was wondering where you were!" She looked at me with curiosity.

  
  


"Oh yeah, I got caught up in class...sorry I couldn't get here sooner." My mind wasted no time in reminding me of the truth, and that slowly put a frown on my face. Amity didn't notice thankfully and switched the topic rather quickly.

  
  


"Hmm, you didn't bring your books here?" I felt my heart stop when she asked that. _I was supposed to bring them? Of course I was! Jesus how stupid am i?!_ I felt my anxiety grow on me once again.

  
  


"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't know you wanted to read more! Do you want me to run up to my locker real quick?" Amity started giggling again, making me feel embarrassed once again.

  
  


"Luz calm down, it's okay! I was just asking, don't need to panic like that." She started chuckling more and I felt myself feel even shittier. Twice already I made myself look like a fucking idiot in front of her, and now she was laughing. God I have no chance in keeping her as a friend at this rate…

  
  


"Hey...is everything okay Luz..?"

  
  


Her random question surprised me, as I looked up to see her cheery face turn into that of concern. I could see in her eyes the worry she had.

  
  


"Oh...yeah I'm fine…remember, I'm a fuck up, I'm sorry I forgot the books…"

  
  


"Luz I didn't even ask you to bring them before, I was joking about that question. How were you supposed to know?" She moved closer to me with her chair. "Is there something bothering you..? You've been really quick to jump on yourself...and that's concerning me."

  
  


Why was she concerned? Usually people would just brush me off as being over dramatic or trying to get attention back then. Why wasn't she doing the same?

  
  


I didn't want her to be concerned, she didn't need to worry about someone like me. I took a deep breath and looked over at her.

  
  


"Yeah...I'm fine, really. It's kind of a force of habit to do that…" Amity opened her mouth, but stopped herself from speaking what she was gonna say. She took a moment to process what she was gonna say before she continued.

  
  


"Well...if there is anything that is bothering you, I want you to know that...you can talk to me about it." I looked at her with shock, which seemed to take her back a bit. "I-I know we just started to talk...but you seem p-pretty cool and chill. I want to be your friend, so please...don't hesitate to talk to me if you need someone to talk to." She placed her hand on my shoulder in her attempt to comfort me.

  
  


My mind went blank for a few moments. It was like time froze when she said that sentence. I never heard anyone say that to me. I never expected anyone in my life to say that to me. Hearing Amity saying that threw me through a different kind of pain. I went through every emotion internally like a wheel, spinning until it stopped. I felt happy, confused, scared, sad, and shitty all at once, and after that wheel inside of me stopped, it landed on sadness.

  
  


Amity eyes widened when she saw the first few tears drop from my eyes. At this point, I couldn't control them, even if I were to quickly wipe them away and deny it happening, it would've kept coming. Nothing was gonna stop them from coming out.

  
  


I wasn't sobbing just yet, just a few tears here and there dripped down my face as I stared blankly at the table. I felt embarrassed looking at Amity with tears, I don't think I ever expressed my emotions like this to anyone personally. 

  
  


"Luz...please talk to me...what's wrong?" More tears started dripping out after that plead. How was I suppose to explain what was happening? I don't think I can just blatantly tell her that I was dying inside, nor did I want to. I just shook my head lightly, and looked up.

  
  


"I...I don't have the energy to speak about it right now…..can we please talk about this later..?" Amity was clearly about to decline that, but after she took another look at me, she bit her lip and nodded.

  
  


"Alright….do you need space..? I'll move if you want-"

  
  


"NO!" Instinctively, I reached my hand out to grab her arm, and both of us just stared blankly at each other before I realized what happened. Panicking now, I backed away and kept my hands by my lap.

  
  


"...sorry...I didn't mean to startle you there…" I put my head down in my arms and just looked up at her. "...please don't leave me….I don't want to be alone…" 

  
  


She got closer with her chair, and began to rub my back for comfort. I never felt this before, but it was a soothing gesture that calmed my nerve a little. "I'll stay exactly right here. Nothing is gonna make me leave you alone like this…" I could hear her voice breaking, and it took me a moment to realize she was tearing up too. "Why don't we read some Azura? I know this isn't the first book….but I think it would be nice to read together again...wouldn't it?" I lifted my head and looked at her with awe. It boggles my mind how she's willing to stay with me through all this. It felt special.

  
  


"That sounds great...thank you Amity…" She patted my back again and opened the book.

  
  


"It's nothing...just wanting to help out a friend."

  
  


I felt blush form on my face once again, and a smile grew from ear to ear. The flutter began again and I felt my mood change exponentially. Wiping my eyes, I sat back up and joined along with Amity in reading.

  
  
And this time, _this_ period was the best that I've ever had.


	7. A Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I bring you all chapter 7 today! I was gonna wait until tomorrow to post it, but I decided today for a reason I'll get into at the end.
> 
> This is also the longest chapter so far, I believe at like 3k words. That isn't much compared to Missing, which had chapters with 4k to 6k words. This chapter is as long as it needs to be though, and it's my personal favorite so far!
> 
> Anyways, I'll let you go, enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

It has been a few hours since that moment. Since I broke down in front of Amity, and I feel like real shit because of it.

  
  


I can't believe that I became that vulnerable...that weak in front of her. I was wanting to have a good time with her, but my mind had other plans it seemed, making me have, not just one, but  **_two_ ** breakdowns.

  
  


But it was thanks to Amity for making the situation better. Instead of just running off and leaving me alone, as I expected, she actually stayed by my side and provided me comfort that I needed. I don't think I ever had anyone do that to me to that extent. It's honestly surprising, and I can't comprehend it.

  
  


The rest of the day wasn't anything special. Despite Amity lighting the mood, I still felt like shit afterwards when we parted ways. I couldn't walk with her because of the risk of Boscha seeing us, and I don't think I would've been emotionally strong enough to just ignore her this time. Amity promised she would keep her away as much as she could, and that added a level of appreciation I had for the girl.

  
  


I'm pretty sure the others knew something was up with me. I saw their weary glances and head shifts to me and each other as I passed them. None of them attempted to see what was wrong, but I'm pretty sure they did it so I can have space. I honestly don't know what I would've wanted except to be with Amity again.

  
  


It did seem like Amity kept her promise though, because I didn't run into Boscha for the rest of the day.

  
  


A random knock interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to reality. Knowing that it could only be one person, I told them to come in, and walked in Mom.

  
  


"Hey Mija, how are you feeling?" She hesitated about walking in, before I nodded to let her in. I didn't tell her exactly what happened between me and Amity, but all I said was that my mind fucked me up again.

  
  


"Could be better, could be worse." I said blankly, lacking any emotion in that sentence. She sat at the edge of my bed as she looked down at me.

  
  


"I don't know what happened, but I'm sure it couldn't be that bad." She paused for a moment before continuing on. "You've been doing good for the first week, I'm sure whatever you did is just some kind of overreaction."

  
  


_ Yeah, because breaking down in front of a person you admire is something to overreact about. _

  
  


I just shrugged my shoulders at her as I sat up with my knees against my chest. Mom scooted closer to me and leaned in with a hug.

  
  


"I'm sorry you're feeling down right now sweetheart, but I know it's gonna be fine." I just placed my head on her shoulder as she slowly stroked my hair. "If there's anything you want me to do to help you, I would be willing to do that in a heartbeat." At least with the lack of friends I used to have, I always had Mom to help me through the extremely bad times, and she hasn't changed with that since.

  
  


"You're doing exactly that." I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. I didn't picture anything, I didn't hear any voices in my head, or any negative thoughts festered up in my mind. My head became clear, and it felt so calm. That's one of the things I love about my Mom, she has this ability to make me feel calm, no matter how shitty I feel.

  
  


A knock from downstairs interrupted the peaceful moment, and Mom let me go.

  
  


"Hmm, I wonder who that could be...maybe the neighbor or someone." She got up and looked down at me. "Feel better now?"

  
  


I lifted my head up and looked at her with a smile. She smiled back as she winked at me. "Glad to see it. Like I said, if you need anything, let me know. I'll be here for you." She placed her hand on her chest as she exited my room.

  
  


Being alone once again, I used this time to close my eyes and clear my head more. Back then, I relied on meditating to relax my thoughts, and I would've done that now, but Mom made my thoughts calm enough where I didn't need it necessary.

  
  


Not that I would have been doing it long anyways, because a minute or so after she left, I heard Mom climbing up half of the stairs before calling my name.

  
  


"Luz, you got a friend at the door." My eyes shot open as I realized what she just said. 

  
  


_ Someone was here for me? But who could have came all the way here just to see me? The only person I told my address to was- _

  
  


It all clicked as I processed that thought in my mind. I felt my anxiety and nerve rise up as I realized who it was. She came all the way here to see me? What was she gonna do? Was she gonna judge me in some way? Was she gonna criticize me for making her day somehow worse for breaking down in front of her?

  
  


I slowly got out of bed and walked into the hallway. I saw Mom on the staircase looking at me with a small smile. She must've saw how concerned I was because she walked up to me and rubbed my back.

  
  


"It's gonna be okay Mija. Go see her."

  
  


I slowly left Mom's arms and walked down the stairs. I entered the living room and saw the front door. I stood in front of it for a second and shut my eyes. I did as much as I could to get rid of my thoughts, or to at least make them tolerable. It took a moment, but when I opened my eyes again I felt a little more calm. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

  
  


My mind went blank when I saw Amity standing in front of me. This is the first time I saw her outside of school, and on my god the outfit she wore here was just adorable. She wore this leather jacket with a pink shirt underneath. She had some dark blue jeans on with her high heel boots. I couldn't think straight for a moment. I don't know what it was about the outfit, but her wearing it struck out as cute to me.

  
  


"Hey Luz...sorry for my surprise visit...I just wanted to check on you."

  
  


It took a moment for my brain to actually comprehend what she just said.

  
  


"Oh uh-yeah it's nothing. No worries! Here, come on in! If you want we can talk in my room."

  
  


I noticed the light surprise she had as her eyebrows raised up when I offered that to her. She gave a small smile and nodded.

  
  


“Okay, lead the way.” I took a breath and turned around. As I did that, Mom came back downstairs with a welcoming smile.

  
  


“So you’re one of Luz’s new friends I see? What’s your name sweetie?” Amity blushed a little, as she was being put in the spotlight.

  
  


“Amity. Amity Blight.” Mom raised an eyebrow at the response. 

  
  


“Blight huh? I’ve heard that name before.” I gave a look at my Mom, and she shrugged her shoulders.

  
  


“Maybe i’m going crazy. Anyways, make yourself at home Amity!” Amity rubbed the back of her head and looked away.

  
  


“Thanks.” I looked over at her with a nervous smile.

  
  


“Let me take you to my room.” I felt nervous. I never once said that to anyone before. I don’t know how to feel about that, especially with this situation.

  
  


Amity nodded and stuck close behind me as I led her up the stairs. A few turns later, we entered my room. I sheepishly turned around at her as she looked around.

  
  


“Don’t mind the mess in here...I wasn’t expecting visitors…” Amity chuckled as she walked in.

  
  


“Don’t sweat it, my room is messier.” I shot her a look of shock, and then chuckled.

  
  


“I doubt that.” Amity started laughing with me, and for once since the end of school, I felt relieved. I know that feeling wouldn’t last long, but I cherished every second of it. I noticed how she held her arm as she awkwardly stood in my room. I cleaned off my bed and looked back.

  
  


“You can sit down if you want. You don’t need to be so awkward here.” I gave her a sly look and she smirked at me.

  
  


“I’m not. Maybe I want to stand.” I chuckled before she sat on the bed next to me. I felt the fluttering in my stomach as I felt my nerve rise up. She was pretty close. I felt the heat from her body hit my side as her arm got closer. It was awkward for a moment. No noise was made from one of us. You would be able to hear a pin drop, that’s how quiet it was. I don’t know why she was quiet, but I know why I was. Anxiety and fear can do stuff like that to you. 

  
  


Eventually, Amity must’ve gotten sick of the silence as she gave out a forced cough and turned towards me.

  
  


“So...like I said, I came over to check how you were doing. I would’ve messaged you first, but you still haven’t given me your number.” She lightly chuckled as she saw me go into thought.

  
  


“Another thing I forgot huh? Ugh..sorry about that.” She waved off my apology and lightly smiled.

  
  


“Don’t sweat it. At least I knew I could just knock on your door if I needed to.”

  
  


“...and you did just that…” I felt both the fluttering in my stomach intensify, and the depression in my soul get slightly worse. At this point, I'm not sure why she’s still willing to do all of this for me. Just to see if I was okay? It was surprising to say the least. That was the last thing I would’ve expected anybody to do for me, but here she is, right in front of me.

  
  


“Yeah…” She looked down at the ground, thinking about what she was gonna say next. “About earlier...at lunch...I’m...I’m sorry about that…” I looked at her with confusement.

  
  


“Why are  _ you  _ apologizing?” Amity twiddled with her fingers as she took a breath.

  
  


“Well...I can’t help but think I caused your breakdown in some way...I mean...I was the one who pushed the conversation wasn’t I? I just..” She gripped onto her sleeves as she continued on. “I’m sorry for any unintentional pain I caused towards you.”

  
  


_ Was Amity crazy or something? She did absolutely nothing to me. _

  
  


I was baffled by what she was saying. She thinks she caused my breakdown? That couldn’t be any more untrue if it could be. I didn’t hesitate to correct her about it.

  
  


“Are you serious?! You did nothing to me Amity! How could you think that you caused something with that?” She turned to me and one look into her eyes made me feel so bad. I could see the pain in her eyes. She blankly stared at me like before, when she was with Boscha. It was that same look, but it was so much worse here.

  
  


“I put you in a panic with what I said about the books, I didn’t think it would lead you to break down like that. You don’t understand how bad I feel about that!” Her eyes started to glisten as she looked away from me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about that...how I just...hurt you like that…”

  
  


I felt my own pain rise up through my body. I felt the muscles in me twitch with anxiety, as I started to blink more and more to what I was hearing. She really feels bad. This isn’t something that my mind would make up to fuck me up.

  
  


She was genuine here.

  
  


“Amity...you really didn’t do anything to cause that. It-” She turned towards me with that stare again, but it wasn’t blank anymore. She was squinting, and it only took me a moment to realize she was trying to hold back her own tears. I felt my heart drop. The last thing I wanted was for her to start crying for something she didn’t cause.

  
  


“Amity...can I tell you something..?” I felt my own anxiety grip me tightly as I thought about doing what I was doing next. The only other person that knows about how it was back in RVA is Willow, and talking about that with her was pretty bad with my anxiety. I felt the same level of fear rise up, but the more I looked at Amity, who was just as distraught as me, the more I ignored the fear. She needed to know it wasn’t her. She looked at me, and nodded.

  
  


“Back in my old school, RVA...I wasn’t how I am now. I was more open...more calm and assuring...and more energetic. I did a bunch of stuff that my other classmates and peers saw as weird...and that caused me to be alone…” I looked away from Amity and at the ground, as I felt my inner demons fester up in my mind. “I was constantly bullied...abandoned...and picked on. I was called so many names…” My mind filled with the names that I was called. 

  
  


_ Luzer. Weirdo. Queer. Creep. Fag.  _

  
  


“...I had no friends...no one to go to...and I finally had enough...so I transferred to Hexside in hopes of starting fresh. That means hiding my past...that means hiding my interests...that means having bad anxiety and overreactions…if it all means that I'll have friends...” My body was shaking at this point. I felt my own tears start building up in my eyes as I gripped my pants. “I’m-I’m sorry for earlier...for you to witness that...I just...never had anyone like you to be so willing to be there for me...i’m not used to that gesture...and i-it hurts alot…” I took a breath and kept my head down. I did as much as I could from breaking down in front of Amity again. I didn’t want her to see another one.

  
  


I heard a shuffle where Amity was, and when I realized what she was doing, I felt two arms go around me. Amity placed her head on my shoulder, as she slowly rubbed my back.

  
  


“Luz...i’m so sorry you went through such hell like that...I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like in person...but you don’t need to worry about that anymore...i’m right here...I think you are an amazing person as your true self...” 

  
  


Once again, I couldn’t think straight. All of the thoughts I had moments before turned into a jumbled mess of emotions, like it was static. My heart was beating so hard I felt it through my chest, and my arms were shaking, even through Amity’s grasp. This is what it felt to be loved by someone other than Mom. What it felt to have someone truly care about me. What it felt like to have a real person in my life.

  
  


I slowly lowered my head over Amity’s shoulder and sobbed my heart out. I never felt this kind of pain before. It wasn’t just pain that was meant to hurt me badly, it was different. It felt like I was healing as well. I felt myself feel better little by little as I gripped Amity in the hug. Her back rubs and reassuring voice that she wasn’t leaving killed whatever demons I had plaguing my head. It killed whatever anxiety I had lingering around. It filled my body with safety, and comfort. It was the same power that Mom had. It was that moment I realized what the power really was.

  
  


It was love.

  
  


After like six minutes of being in her arms, my sobbing was finally reduced to little whimpers, like I was five again. I huffed out the last bit of pain I had and snuggled my head on Amity’s shoulder. It was a nice feeling, to be this close with her. I feel so lucky.

  
  


Amity slowly backed away from me, leaving the hug and looked at me after she wiped away her tears.

  
  


“I want to make this very clear. I’m always-ALWAYS going to be here for you. I know we just finally started talking, but if i’m being honest with you, you’re the closest person I have right now. You’re a fun and special kind of friend to me. If you ever need anything, like you need to talk or need something, message me, and i’ll either message back or come over myself, whatever the situation calls for.” More tears fell from my eyes as I took in everything she said. She smiled at me, reached her hand forwards and wiped away one of my tears. “It’s going to be okay..I promise..”

  
  


My face lit up when she did that. Clearly she saw the immediate blush as she backed away and blushed as well.

  
  


“A-Ah i’m sorry about that! Didn’t mean to-”

  
  


I lightly pushed her and laughed.

  
  


“It’s fine, relax Amity!” I giggled as I looked at her. “Really.”

  
  


I heard a noise from downstairs and it took a moment to realize it was Mom.

  
  


“Hey, are you girls hungry? I got lunch ready down here!” I looked at Amity and nodded my head.

  
  


“You hungry?” She smirked at me

  
  


“You read my mind.”

  
  


“Great, let’s get some food then!” I got up from the bed, and lifted my hand out to help her. It took a moment to realize what I was doing, but before I could rethink, she grabbed my hand and picked herself up.

  
  


“Why thank you Luz.” I blushed as I opened my door and looked back.

  
  


“No problemo.” We both laughed as we entered the hallway. Before I continued, I looked over at Amity.

  
  


"Hey Amity…?"

  
  


"Yeah?" She stopped in front of me and gave me that smile again. My heart and stomach fluttered, and smiled back.

  
  


"Thank you...for being the best." She chuckled as she patted my back.

  
  


"No big deal Luz. You could use someone like me." She slyly smirked at me, as I smiled harder back at her.

  
  


"Yeah...yeah I could…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a lot wasn't it. Definitely the most "angsty" chapter so far. In fact these last two have shifted away from the more calm side. Next chapter I'm planning to go back into being calm though, with the gang all doing something together. Not sure what yet, but I'll get there when I do. 
> 
> I got big plans for the story though, so I'm not sure if chapter 9 will go somewhere else or not. We'll see when we get there I suppose ;>
> 
> Also, the reason why I posted the chapter today was because my good friend, Garseeyarts just hit 5K on her instagram @garseeyarts. I'm really happy that she got to that incredible milestone in such a short time. With her art and stories, it's well deserving for her to reach that point. This chapter is for you Alex, I hope you enjoyed it as much as the others!
> 
> Anyways, that's all I gotta say, I'll see you when chapter 8 comes around! 
> 
> -CircularCreations


	8. Hanging Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am finally here to bring you chapter 8! I'd like to apologize for taking this long really. I meant to get this done faster but I finally got my drawing pen back, and I've been prioritizing my time on drawing.
> 
> Speaking of drawings, I made art for chapter 6 if you want to go check that out!
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if this chapter is something that wasn't worth the wait. Even re reading this, I get filler vibes from it. I tried my best to make it at least interesting, but I won't hold it against you if you don't like it as much as the other chapters.
> 
> Anyways, that's all I gotta say, I will see you all next time with chapter 9. I promise I won't take that long for it. 
> 
> -CircularCreations

It's safe to say that the past few weeks since Amity came over have been the best in my life so far.

  
  


Unlike RVA where I never looked forward to school, with Hexside, every single day has had its moments where it was worth the wait.

  
  


There's still some problems. Some teachers for example. The gym teacher hasn't changed one bit, even though most of us have complained about how he runs the class. Math as well has been agonizing to say the least. I somehow been able to get by, but there have been times where I was very close to falling very far behind.

  
  


Thankfully nothing has changed with the better classes. I've been more open in Ms. Clawthorne class, both in homeroom and History, and surprisingly we have a lot in common. We both have a distant older sister, our favorite subject in history is WW2, we have the same favorite colors of purple and blue. Hell, she also remarked that she had one parent growing up for most of her life, kinda like my situation. Boscha has called me plenty of things because of connecting with the teacher, but as time went by, it's been getting easier to ignore her insults, well thanks for Amity helping me ignore her as well.

  
  


Speaking of Boscha, she hasn't changed much. It's almost been a habit everyday, to stumble upon her at least once for her to throw her insults and remarks about me. One day she would comment about my style, another day she would remark about something I would connect with one of the teachers. Most of these insults I can honestly ignore now, as they have became dull and predictable, but whenever she calls me Luzer and weirdo, I still get defeated by that.

  
  


Her treatment towards Amity has been getting worse as well. Despite Amity saying that she's annoyed with Boscha and all this other stuff, she still begrudgingly sticks with her. Boscha has been more...assertive and demanding with Amity, especially when I'm around them. I don't know if it's her trying to prove a point or something, but it's doing something well: pissing me off.

  
  


Other than her strange desire to stick with Boscha, Amity has still been good with me. Ever since she came over that day to comfort me, we have slowly gotten closer to each other in secret. Nothing major, but me and her have been messaging each other every day and been making plans to hangout every now and then. Mom really likes her, which is nice. For some reason my mind would tell me that any person I would ever bring over, Mom wouldn't like, but with Amity, she is really sweet to her.

  
  


I also suggested that maybe I'd check out her house, but she instantly denied it which caught me off guard. She switched the subject rather quickly, so I don't know what her deal is about that as well.

  
  


I also learned recently that Willow and Gus live near me as well. Not as close as Amity, but definitely close enough for a 10 or so minute walk to my house. They came over the other day, and Mom once again showered them with love and appreciation. That was a really fun day. We played games in my room, went on walks and even went down to the local park nearby. We did as much as we could with the stuff there, but that day had me feeling like myself for once again, and despite the hate I have for it, that moment in particular had my mind second guessing on it's feelings.

  
  


Unfortunately Jerbo and Viney live much farther away, in a separate town away from here. I have been messaging them though, and we're planning a big meet today with those two, as well as Gus, Willow and Amity. I was able to convince Amity to join us with the promise I'd teach her how to skateboard during it. I can already imagine how that’s gonna go.

  
  


I’ve been feeling nervous about it. To be fair when am I not nervous? I shouldn’t be nervous about this right? I mean i’ve been hanging out with all of them at school, why would this be any different? Honestly, I wasn’t sure why I was feeling this way, so I shrugged it off.

  
  


A knock on my door threw me out of my thoughts again, so I quickly threw on my hoodie and beanie and ran down to check. I swung the door open, and was met with the smiling face of Amity. My heart fluttered immediately and I felt my soul almost die on me. It took a lot in me to keep my face from lighting up with red.

  
  


At this point, I have accepted the feelings I have for Amity. I stopped questioning why I have them, I just kept them hidden. Now I don’t think i’m doing a good job at that. I mean every time i’m with her, my mind immediately scatters thoughts. My body feels like goo and I can constantly feel my face warming up slowly because of the thought I'm getting.

  
  


It also doesn’t help that Gus knows what’s up. Every time we would separate from talking, Gus would just be looking at me with a cocky look and smirk, and he wouldn’t even have to say anything for me to become a mess.

  
  


_Ah crap, Gus is coming as well._

  
  


I think I know why I'm nervous now. We’re going to be hanging out for at least a couple of hours, and for most of the time I’m going to help Amity ride my board. Gus is going to have a fucking field day with us two.

  
  


I just hope for my sake that the others don’t get any ideas as well.

  
  


“Hey Luz!” Amity finally said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I shook my head and awkwardly waved back at her.

  
  


“Hey Amity! Glad to see that you made it!” She gave a light chuckle and looked at me.

  
  


“I told you I was coming, that is if you’re still offering your skating lessons.” She gave a sly smirk that made my heart stop beating momentarily. Remembering how to breathe, I gave a wink at her.

  
  


“No worries, i’ll still help you with that. Just know though i’m not the best at explaining things, so I hope you can bear that with the lesson.” She waved that comment off.

  
  


“As long as you don’t get me killed, I believe your teachings will be sufficient enough for me.” I chuckled and nudged her a little.

  
  


“Yeah don’t worry, I won’t drop you down a hill on your first attempt.” We both laughed and enjoyed ourselves. After that, I looked up and backed away.

  
  


“You can come in, you know. You don’t have to stand awkwardly everytime you come over!” I gave her a chuckle as she jokingly pushed me out of the way. 

  
  


“Well soooorry, I thought we were waiting for the others.” She gave me another smirk and yet again, I forgot how to breathe.

  
  


“I-I told them to meet us here. We can chill around until they arrive.” An idea popped into my head and I started grinning. It’s been a month since we had one last, so I figured now would be a perfect time to have another one. Amity noticed the grin and tilted her head in confusion.

  
  


“Want to have a little Azura book club session?” Once the idea left my mouth, Amity also started grinning, and I could see the joy in her eyes about that idea.

  
  


“That would be nice…Lets do it!” Amity gave a giggle, before I led us both upstairs to my room.

  
  


\------------------------------

  
  


“And thus with a swift motion, Azura summoned her staff and quickly shot two fire missiles towards the Witherbeast’s legs.” I threw my hands up and shook my fingers. “The creature fell onto it’s knees and fell against the rocky floor.” I was standing in front of Amity, as I read the book. I was semi acting the story out, pacing back and forth, as well as raising my voice at certain parts. Every now and then i’d glance at Amity and she would be staring at me with awe. A smile unwavered across her face as she leaned in. I’m surprised my heart didn’t give out, because it was beating hard.

  
  


“You know, you are really good at emphasizing the good parts from Azura.” I looked away slyly as shyness lingered up my bones.

  
  


“Aww shut up, you’re just saying that.” I said teasingly. Amity was about to say something else, but a knock at the door snapped us back to reality.

  
  


“Welp, I guess that puts a close to the chapter.” Amity gave me a confused look

  
  


“But that chapter wasn’t even over?” I lightly laughed as I turned around and grabbed my board.

  
  


“Shush.”

  
  


We both went down the stairs, and upon opening the front door, we were greeted with everyone else we were waiting for. Gus, Willow, Jerbo and Viney were all standing around talking to each other, before redirecting their attention to us.

  
  


“Hello guys, took you long enough!” Amity said quietly, before turning to me and giggling lightly. Everyone else gave a quick chuckle before we stepped out of the house.

“So, where do we wanna go first?” Gus asked, while giving me a cheeky look to me and Amity. I tried my best to ignore it and thought of a place to go to, and then it clicked. I looked at my board and smiled.

  
  


“Maybe I should show you guys what I can do with this thing.”

  
  


\--------------------------

  
  


The wind was much more prominent up here. Despite not being too far from the gang, who all watched from the bottom baffled, I could tell I was gonna go pretty fast. I wasn’t worried though. I’ve done this hill before, and I have nailed it so far. I hoped I didn’t die in front of everybody.

  
  


“Luz, you are killing yourself! Don’t do it!” Jerbo shouted. I could see he had his hand on his head, all worried about what I was gonna do. I saw Viney walk up to him.

  
  


“I don’t know, she seems pretty confident with this! Maybe she’ll nail it!” That made me smile a bit. I felt my confidence go up as I prepared to go down.

  
  


“Be careful Luz, please!” Amity shouted afterwards. Her concerned voice almost made me stumble off the board, but I caught myself and gave them all a thumbs up.

  
  


“I’ve done this before! I won’t die!” I gave a cynical chuckle as I pushed forwards.

  
  


“Hopefully.”

  
  


As soon as the ground below me turned into a downhill slope, the pace immediately picked up. Wind was hitting me hard and the ground around me went blurry from the high speed I was going at. Y’know for everything that i’m very anxious about, doing this is the opposite. I didn’t feel any fear as I sped down this steep hill.

  
  


Okay that’s kinda a lie. I wasn’t alone in this scenario. I had my friends watching me. I did not want to fuck up in front of them. Not only would I suffer severe damage to myself, I'd also get judged by the, most likely. I personally think that is worse than suffering from a bit of missing skin.

  
  


For a split second, my board hit a pebble, and it immediately veered off to the right. Nearly losing my balance, I shifted my entire weight to the left side of my board, and tried my best to recenter it. I felt speed wobble from the sudden shift, and I thought I was about to go cartwheeling down the concrete, but I barely managed to slouch down, control myself and recenter the board. It was perfect timing too because I started to level out on the flat ground below.

  
  


I was still going pretty fast so I barely saw everyone as I passed them. The split second I did though, I saw one thing in common across all of their faces: Pure shock. I could see from their widen eyes and open mouths that they were stunned. I took a moment to let my speed die down, and did a u turn back towards them, to ride right into cheers.

  
  


“Holy shit Luz! That was insane! You went SO FUCKING FAST!” Viney was pacing back and forth, looking at me and the hill I just went down.

  
  


“That was insane, how in the hell are you able to keep your balance during that?!” Gus added, while walking around in a similar manner. I gave them a chuckle as I brandished my board.

  
  


“Well it kinda helps this board is meant for high speeds, so for the most part I'm able to cruise down without any issues.” I thought back on that near slip up and I felt chills go up my spine. I looked over at Amity, who was just blankly staring at me with astonishment. It made me blush a little. I impressed her.

  
  


I gave a giggle and handed her my board.

  
  


“Alright your turn.” She immediately pushed the board away as her face changed to immediate fear.

  
  


“You’re funny.” I laughed as I pushed her lightly.

  
  


“I’m fucking around with you. Here, down here is flat and smooth, wanna try this instead?” Her face still had elements of concern smeared across it, but she slowly stepped forwards as she grabbed the board again.

  
  


“Okay...where do I start?”

  
  


I grabbed the board and placed it down in front of her.

  
  


“Okay, put your right foot at the front of the board.”

  
  


She carefully placed her foot exactly where I pointed. She looked at me with reassurance and I nodded.

  
  


“Alright now first I want you to get used to the balance of it. It seems scary, but going fast actually improves your stability more than just crawling around on it.” She gave me a nervous look before I patted her back. “I’m not gonna make you go really fast, just a little bit so you don’t trip up. Are you ready?”

  
  


She took a breath, and nodded her head as she gripped my hoodie.

  
  


“Alright, you’re gonna put your other foot there, and I’m going to hold onto you so you don’t fall, okay?” She looked at where I pointed, and nodded.

  
  


“Don’t worry Ami, if Luz can bomb that big ass hill, you can easily ride forwards on flat ground. You got this.” Viney gave her a thumbs up, and she smirked at the gesture.

  
  


“Alright let’s do this!” She lifted up her leg and went on the board pretty quick. This didn’t go in her favor because the board jolted away from her and she lost her balance. Because she was gripping onto me, I went down with her. Me trying to stay up did save her from hitting her back at full force, but I soon lost my balance and nearly fell on top of her.

  
  


I barely caught myself, but when I refocused my attention, Amity was right in front of me. Her face was meters away from mine. My mind went ballistic at that moment. I felt my face heat up immediately as I stared into her eyes.

  
  


_Oh my god oh my god oh my god. She is right in front of me. What do I do?? What is she thinking?? Oh my god my heart. She is soooo adorable._

  
  


I noticed her start to blush hard as well, as I slowly got back up. We just blankly stared by each other until we were back on our feet.

  
  


“A-are you okay? Did you h-hurt yourself?” I couldn’t even look at her in the eyes. I was so embarrassed from being so close that if I looked up at her, my face would've completely went red. I heard her clear her throat and I slowly looked up at her.

  
  


“Y-yeah...i’m fine. T-thank you Luz. Y-you saved me from fully hitting the ground.” I don’t know why, but that comment made me blush even more.

  
  


“Oh, uh that was n-nothing…” We went quiet for a moment, before Jerbo interrupted us.

  
  


“You sure you two are okay?” Amity was about to say something, before Gus stepped forwards with a smirk.

  
  


“I think they are perfectly fine.” He started to chuckle as I blushed a bit harder.

  
  


“S-Shut it Gus, we’re fine.”

  
  


“Just making sure” He said with a chuckle. Even Willow started to give me a sly look, and I felt like I was on fire.

  
  


“Well...I don’t know about you guys, but i’m a little hungry. You guys wanna get some food?” Willow asked, which brought my mind out of my thoughts.

  
  


“Sure, if everyone else is in agreement.” Gus added along. I saw everyone nod in agreement, and if it meant I could get out of this awkward situation, then I was in agreement too.

  
  


“Alright then, let’s go get some food then.” I said, and I spent the entire walk to the place in a gay panic.


	9. Coming to Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I finally bring you chapter 9 of The New Girl!
> 
> Again, I'm sorry it took longer to publish. I wasn't expecting my week to become so shit, so I was distracted with all of that, but I hope this chapter was worth the wait this time around.
> 
> Anyways, I'll see you guys next time, peace ✌
> 
> -CircularCreations

That was a fun day. I never had a day like that before, being with friends. Not that surprising, considering I didn’t have any friends beforehand.

  
  


Anyways, the day was really fun. After we got food, we went exploring around more of the neighborhood and the areas around it. We didn’t do too much, except help Amity more on the board. She didn’t fall again after what happened. I’m pretty sure she was more cautious when she stepped on.

  
  


Jesus christ though, she is so adorable when she was trying to practice. Many times, she would lose her balance, but I would be there to keep her up, but my board would sail away a few feet ahead. Multiple times it hit the curb, and the loud bang gave Amity the impression that she broke it.

  
  


She would turn to me and apologize over and over again about it. Even when I would tell her it was okay, she would still take it out on herself. I was kinda caught off guard when she first did it. She seemed like the last person to take their frustration out on themselves, but there she was, calling herself stupid and such.

  
  


I was quick to say otherwise, and she didn’t fight it after. She would just give me this look. I can’t really describe it well, but it would be that of both appreciation and concern. That’s how I interpreted it, between my internal screaming and light blushing.

  
  


Everyone else there wasn’t sitting around. In fact, after they saw me bomb the hill, they were all interested in trying out my board after Amity was done. They had similar results like Amity. Gus even fell straight on his back hard. He was fine, but I found it funny that he fell after he made a jab at me and Amity.

  
  


That’s what I call instant karma.

  
  


Anyways, we stayed out until dark, then we all separated. Viney and Jerbo went home with their families, and everyone else left. Amity stayed with me for a little though. She wanted to walk me home. I told her I was perfectly fine going alone, but she insisted on being by my side. I didn’t catch her reasoning why because my mind was too busy turning my comprehensible thoughts into static.

  
  


I remember it so vividly. She thanked me for helping her with skating, and we made a couple jokes about her being a pro. She did slowly get the hang of it. She was able to balance on it for a while in a straight line. She just needs to learn how to turn well.

  
  


We reached my house and I asked why she walked me home again. I remember her lightly looking away with a smirk as she held her arm behind her back.

  
  


“Well, I just want to enjoy the moment. Spend as much time with you as I can.”

  
  


Before I got a word out, she gave me a hug. It wasn’t as long as when I had my breakdown, but it was long enough for me to realize what was happening. She backed away slowly and was blushing.

  
  


“Sorry, I don’t know if we are there yet…”  
  


I smiled at her, and with the confidence I got, I gave her another hug. It was the same length, but we both enjoyed it as much as we could. We both laughed afterwards and said our goodbyes. The second I closed the front door, I started giggling like crazy. I really couldn’t control it as my body shook and the tears of happiness rolled down my face. Mom saw me and asked if I was alright. I nodded my head and just said:

  
  


“I had a great day.”

  
  


I spent the rest of my night with my face in a pillow screaming.

  
  


\-------------------------------- 

  
  


I can’t stop thinking about that. It’s been a few days since we had that big meet up, but I think about it as if it just ended. 

  
  


I blush every time I think about Amity now. No matter what, whenever I think about her green hair, or her charming personality or just anything about her, I physically become numb with the love I feel for her.

  
  


I can’t say this is a regular crush for her anymore. I am in love with her.

  
  


Every time I get a message from her, my heart stops. Every time she says hi to me as she passes me in the hall, I just feel chills down my back. Whenever I get to talk to her during lunch, I just smile the entire time.

  
  


At this point, I don’t even know if I have been that subtle anymore.

  
  


Gus has joked with me about it still. I have stopped trying to shut him up. He’ll keep on doing it regardless.

  
  


At least he isn’t annoying with it, that would’ve been something else. 

  
  


I’ve been thinking hard for the past few days. Since she walked me home that night. Her words to me and the hugs we gave was just another level I don’t think I have ever been before. The pure joy and happiness that washed over my body was unmatched by anything else. I never felt such pure joy like that before.

  
  


I’ve been feeling so much more confident because of that too. I have no idea why, but I don’t feel as scared as I did when I first came to Hexside. I have her, and Willow and Gus, as well as Jerbo and Viney. If something happens, they are there for me.

  
  


Like the true friends I've been looking for.

  
  


I think I may give Amity some kind of sign that I like her.

  
  


I know that came out of nowhere, but I mean, I really shouldn't be scared right? We have a good chemistry now. We have similar interests, and we enjoy each other's company.

  
  


I'd like to think she likes me too….I mean, am I wrong with that? Everything that has been shown from me kinda points in that direction to her. She was comfortable with giving me hugs, she has been the closest person to me out of all my friends, she has admitted she likes to spend as much time as she could with me. I mean it looks like she may have a crush on me too…

  
  


I really hope so. My feelings for her have been growing over this past month since I arrived, and I don't know how much more it's gonna keep going until I blurt it out at some point.

  
  


With my confidence up now as well, I think it would be best to try to give her some kind of hint.

  
  


Well, I say "hint", but what I'm actually doing is basically telling her my feelings. Not subtle in the slightest.

  
  


I spent an hour in my room writing and rewriting a note for her. I kept erasing and discarding all previous versions I wrote because I believed it was too sappy or too "on the nose" or some other reason my brain decided to look at.

  
  


I finally did it though. At least the best I believed I could. I looked at it, and added some details. I made a little doodle for her, and some quotes from Azura relating to this.

  
  


"Hey Amity, I'm too nervous to tell you this out loud in person, and I don't think I'll ever have the courage to do it, so I thought of the second best thing I could do and that was this. Over the month of getting to know you, we have become such close friends. We both like Azura, and we spent so much time reading it. We have so much fun talking to each other. Hell, you even wanna get better at riding a skateboard with me. It's just amazing how close we are now...and I've been feeling more and more confident about telling you something….I like you Amity. Not just in the friend way, I mean like-like you. I find you so amazing with everything about you. Your voice, your personality, your attitude, your interests, just….you. you are such an amazing person, and I don't think I can hide the fact that I like you anymore….I hope you feel the same way….but if you don't….can we please stay friends? I can live with that, I just don't want to lose you. Thank you." -Luz

  
  


Not much of a note huh? Well I basically said fuck it after writing all of that, and folded the paper up and stuck it in my drawer next to me. I had nothing else to do, so I figured I'd try my best to get some early sleep.

  
  


My mind however had other plans. Even with the confidence, I had my thoughts. They barraged me with possibilities as I laid there, staring up at my ceiling.

  
  


_What if she's disgusted by the note? What if she just rips it in front of you? What if she pushes you away and you never hear from her again? What if she starts actively avoiding you? What if she starts acting like Boscha?_

  
  


These thoughts were unbearable, and they almost made me second guess my decision about the note, but I gave myself a mental slap and stayed focused on the plan for tomorrow. I started listening to music and eventually the thoughts faded away, but I still felt the nervous feeling in my gut, even when I ended up passing out some time later.

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


The day finally started, as I stepped out of Mom's car, giving her a kiss goodbye. It felt like the first day of school again. Stepping out of the car, and seeing the huge structure in front of me, feeling the same uneasiness I did before.

  
  


I fiddled with my pocket. I was clutching the note in there. I didn't want to lose it, or worse, have someone else find it. I made sure it was in my pocket at all times.

  
  


I was very nervous about this. I wasn't backing down with giving her the note, but with every passing moment I sat in each of my classes, waiting to see if I could get Amity by herself, I felt my anxiety claw at my thoughts.

  
  


More of the bad thoughts started festering up in my head during science specifically. I remember being so out of it that I was pretty close to going to the bathroom again to not have some kind of breakdown in class, but Viney and Jerbo talking to me about other stuff did help. It got me laughing every now and then and it kept the thoughts away having fun with them.

  
  


The day was dragging on so much to me. Each class that I was in felt like years while I waited for the next one. At this point, I haven't seen Amity alone yet so I didn't get any chances to give her the note. I could just stick it in her locker, but I'm afraid she would not see it, or Boscha would find it first.

  
  


So I held onto the note for the entire day. I would peak at it every now and then and feel the flutters in my stomach. I can't believe I was actually about to tell her how I feel with this note. It was shocking really. For someone who was always self conscious of literally everything in their life, I was confident enough to do this.

  
  


I didn't see her by herself at lunch either. She was with Boscha and the crew in the front. She did see me pass by and gave me a quick wave and smile before continuing on talking with Boscha. I felt my heartbeat much faster afterwards.

  
  


I thought I wasn't gonna get a chance to give her the note at all. I haven't seen her by herself once today. She was always with Boscha, either because of class or just hanging by her side, and it was honestly getting frustrating.

  
  


Eventually, history ended, and I was grabbing my stuff late, so I was one of the last people to be out of the room. I waved Mrs. Clawthorne goodbye as I entered the hallway.

  
  


I went to check the lockers to see if Amity was finally by herself. My heart stopped when I saw her for a second. She was by herself, but before I even had a chance to react with it, Boscha appeared in front of her from within the group of kids walking in the halls. I took a sigh and turned around until I heard something unusual.

  
  


I heard my name from Boscha's mouth.

  
  


Multiple alarms in my head rang out. _Why was she talking about me? Was she saying bad stuff about me to Amity? Did she somehow find out about the note and was already telling Amity?_

  
  


I was so confused and a little concerned, so while they talked, I was quietly standing by the side, doing my best to listen in on what they were saying.

  
  


"So...I haven't been shy to make that new girl, _Luz,_ feel welcome in this school." She once again gave my name a little sneer as she said it. "I wonder what your take is on her Amity."

  
  


I peered around for a moment to see Amity in deep thought as she was being questioned.

  
  


"I mean, I've seen you a couple of times standing near her as if you were talking to her. Is that true?" Boscha sounded more assertive here, and a little bit threatening. I don't get why she was treating Amity like this.

  
  


"No...I wasn't talking to her those times...I was grabbing the remaining stuff out of my locker." I saw Amity shake her head to Boscha as I backed my way back behind a locker.

  
  


"Hmm, well you didn't answer my other question though." There was a moment of silence, where no one was talking. Boscha was quick to fix that though.

  
  


"What is your take on the new girl, _Amity?"_ She did the same sneer with Amity's name, and I finally heard Amity take a breath.

  
  


"Well...I think she's a complete weirdo." 

  
  


The shock that went into my body when I finally registered what she said was intense. I felt my jaw drop as my eyes widened. Did she just really say that?

  
  


"I mean, she's weird and disgusting. She seemed like a loner when I first saw her. She was so quiet and she was a wreck on the first day. She shook and stuttered so much. It was so embarrassing to even watch her." She took a breath and gave out a laugh. "She also likes Azura. I mean, what kind of person reads Azura? Some no life, that's who." Boscha started to laugh, and she then took a breath.

  
  


"That's what I thought."

  
  


The bell then rang for next class, and everyone started to move through the hallway.

  
  


"Come on, let's get to the next class. Say, do you have the answers for the homework?" Boscha asked.

  
  


"No, I don't. Just worry about that when we get there."

  
  


A groan was heard before they disappeared down the hall. I couldn't even comprehend what I just heard. My ears were ringing, and my vision was slowly fading in and out, as I took huffs of breath against that locker.

  
  


I dropped everything on the ground a while ago. They all made a mess in the mini hallway area I hid in. Papers all over the floor, with my books right on top of them.

  
  


I slowly slouched down with the mess, with my knees pressed up against my chest. My mind was all over the place, reminding me of how much of a freak I was, how pathetic I was to think Amity even liked me. How I had the gut to even think she liked me back at all. I was so stupid, and unaware of how she actually viewed me.

  
  


I didn't care about next class. I didn't care about missing it. I didn't care about anything for the school, I didn't care if anyone found me in this little hall. I didn't care if I was dragged away to the office or somewhere else. I didn't care about anything at all. It was RVA all over again.

  
  


I dug my head into my knees, and cried my fucking eyes out, while the voices in my head kept replaying the same word over and over again.

  
  
" _Luzer_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that didn't end so good huh...
> 
> I'd like to say I'm sorry...but I'm kinda not, it's for the story. Just bear with me and you'll see, I promise 😭😭
> 
> -CircularCreations


	10. Confronting the Issue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, welcome to chapter 10 of The New Girl! I know right? You probably wasn't expecting a chapter this fast. 
> 
> Well I figured since I left you guys kinda in a shit situation with Luz and Amity, and the fact my post schedule has been all over the place, I'd just post chapter 10 here and try to fix it. Hopefully I can get chapter 11 finished for next saturday.
> 
> Anyways, that's all I need to say. This chapter has a lot in it, so I'll let you read it. I hope you all enjoy! I'll see you next time! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

“Mija, I need for you to talk to me here, otherwise I’m never gonna know why you were a complete mess when the security guard found you.” Mom was focused on the road ahead, but I could feel her words hit me as if she had a spotlight on me. All I did was stare out that window, watching the trees and houses pass by in a blur.

  
  


Security found me about 30 minutes later after the bell rang. By that point, I was still a complete mess. My eyes were burning from all the crying, and my body shook more than it ever before. I was completely broken.

  
  


I was brought into the office where the principal was asking me what was wrong and what happened. He wasn’t harsh about it thankfully, but he was speaking with a sense of authority over the situation. His constant questions about me hit me hard and made my emotional state worse, even though it was a completely normal question.

  
  


I wouldn’t tell them what happened. I physically _couldn’t._ Everytime I tried to even think about what I was gonna say, another wave of sudden sobs and pain came out instead. The only thing I was able to tell the principal was “I wanna go home…” and nothing else. After a minute, he figured that I was too emotionally unstable right now that I couldn’t be here. He called Mom up, told her about what happened and now i’m here, sitting next to my very concerned Mom.

  
  


“Luz, please talk to me. I want to know what happened. Why are you crying right now?” Her pleas to get an answer was intensifying as we drove down the road, and it slowly got to me.

  
  


"....I really don't want to talk about it…" I barely whispered that, but Mom heard it and I could sense the quick glare she gave as she stopped at a light.

  
  


"You don't want to talk about it? Luz. I just came all the way to get you because of this! I need to know what happened, please!" She was getting frustrated with me, and it hurt.

  
  


I choked up another sob, as I gripped my bag tightly against my chest. My body still shook like crazy, i could hear the pencils in my bag moving around, that's how bad it was.

  
  


"....it's just like RVA again…." 

  
  


"What was that-" Mom was asking to repeat that, but at that point I went ballistic with my emotions.

  
  


"RVA MOM! MY OLD SCHOOL, IT'S JUST LIKE RVA ALL OVER AGAIN!" My breath was very shaky, as I continued to rant. "I JUST LOST AMITY! AMITY DOESN'T LIKE ME AS A FRIEND! IN FACT SHE THINKS I'M A WEIRDO AND A CREEP! SHE WAS TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK!" I began to sob much harder than how I was already.

  
  


"She-she hates me Mami. She was never my friend…" I clutched my eyes shut as I held my bag tighter, sobbing quietly now.

  
  


"Oh mija…" She went quiet momentarily, before I felt a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry that happened to you….I'm sure you just misunderstood it-"

  
  


"Don't even say that." I gripped my bag tighter as a sudden surge of anger washed over me. "I heard it with my two ears, she said all of this crap about me. She hates me…." I tried to wipe my eyes from the tears, but it was pointless, as more tears immediately filled my eyes afterwards.

  
  


I noticed the car turn off the road, and slowly ride along the side before coming to a complete stop. I looked at Mom, and she closed her eyes and took a sigh. At first I was scared that I pissed her off, and I was about to get more shit thrown at me.

  
  


But that’s when she pulled me into a hug.

  
  


Her grip was firm, but comforting, and she rubbed my back slowly. She somehow made my intense body shaking stop for a moment.

  
  


“Luz...i’m so sorry you had to hear that...I really want to believe it’s some sort of misunderstanding...but it still wasn’t right. I’m right here for you though sweetie, you can let it all out.”

  
  


I didn’t waste any time taking her advice. I gripped onto her shirt and started to let it all out. It was such a bleak moment that I don’t remember how long it lasted, but I wanna say I was there with her for like 10 minutes. Mom kept me in her arms, slowly rubbing my back while saying “shhh” lightly over and over again.

  
  


“Its….it’s not fair....why would she act like she cared about me, but then say all of that st-stuff…? At least in RVA, no one _pretended_ to be my friend…why did she lead me on…?” I was barely comprehensible. I was very quiet, and the sobs in between words didn’t help, but Mom heard me clearly.

  
  


“Well like I said….maybe it’s something she didn’t mean...I don’t know, maybe she was lying as a cover?” I looked at Mom with a confused look. “I know I had to do that a couple of times in high school.” I just shook my head and finally backed away from her.

  
  


“I don’t think so….she sounded so….genuine there…” I recalled the way she said all of those things. The spite and disgust in her voice completely shattered me right then and there. I still feel the impact that first hit me as I sat in the car.

  
  


“Well...is there anything you want to do to make you feel better? We can go somewhere to eat, watch a movie at the house. I’ll read with you if you want, it’s up to you mija.” A smile briefly appeared on my face when she was willing to do all of that, but I didn’t want her to do all of that because of me.

  
  


“Thanks Mami...but I just want to rest when we get home...I think that’ll help a little…” She patted my shoulder as she started the car again.

  
  


“Well if you need anything, i’ll be there in a heartbeat.” She smiled at me as she pulled off the side. I smiled back real quick and I stared out the window again. I felt a tiny bit better after all of that, but my soul was still completely shattered.

  
  


I felt the thoughts fester up in my mind again, but I didn’t fight it this time. There was no point to fighting it. I just let it bombard me with hateful sayings and voices. They had won today.

  
  


“Tanto por estar enamorada..”

  
  
  


\------------------------

  
  


The next few hours after that was honestly pretty weird when it came to my emotional state.

  
  


Obviously I spent a majority of that time crying and sobbing on my bed like a fucking mess. My pillow was basically drenched by it all, along with my sleeve. But after a while where I couldn’t physically cry anymore, I started feeling something else. An emotion that I never associated with the many heartbreaks I had before.

  
  


I was pissed.

  
  


Amity was completely spitting shit to Boscha. ‘Who reads Azura?’ like what the fuck? Is she serious? I don’t know if she was being hypocritical or something else, but that shit didn’t add up at all.

  
  


Why would she waste her time with me if she felt that way? Why couldn’t she just say that to my face? Why did she just tell it to Boscha instead? I know she was asked about it, but still if it was about me, maybe i’d like to hear it too.

  
  


I don’t remember being this mad about someone before in my life. Even when Mom pissed me off before, it wasn’t on this level before. My soul was crushed by someone who faked everything to me.

  
  


It was then I realized Club day was tomorrow.

  
  


I had two ideas. I could either avoid it from now on, just chill somewhere else until the period ends, or I could confront her about everything that I heard.

  
  


Normally you would think I would pick option one right? You aren’t wrong, I was heavily contemplating it, but my anger soon got involved with my decision making and gave me some thought.

  
  


_She was just faking everything to you. Whether it was because of pity, or some other selfish desire, she never liked you. She broke you and simply walked away. Are you just gonna take that Luz?_

  
  


Foaming with anger at this point, I had made my choice.

  
  


I would give Amity a piece of my mind tomorrow.

  
  


\----------------------------

  
  


The bell finally rang for the Clubs to start, and I was honestly nervous yet again. I’m always like this by the way. Saying i’m gonna do this confidently, but end up being extremely nervous afterwards.

  
  


I haven’t seen Amity, not that I wanted to even look at her beforehand. The sight of her would’ve set off some kind of emotional response in me, and I was not ready to activate that just yet.

  
  


I’m still going through my idea though. I didn’t bring my Azura books today. No need to be bringing them if i’m just gonna be yelling at Amity.

  
  


Anyways, I set off on foot, but I slowly went to the room. I did that for two reasons. One: For Amity to get there before me so I could see what would happen, and second: for me to get my confidence back.

  
  


I wasn’t completely scared, but my gut squirmed about what I was gonna do. I never confronted anyone like this before. I don’t know what to expect, from both Amity, and myself. I don’t know if i’m gonna be stone cold the entire time, or immediately break down the second she yells back at me.

  
  


I was ready for anything at this point. I felt numb with everything, so I'm just winging it. All I know is that I’m not staying in that room after I get my point across.

  
  


After a minute of thought, I finally reached the door for the club. It was like a gateway to another dimension to me. I had no idea what would happen the second I crossed through, but I just had to do it.

  
  


I took a deep breath multiple times, calming my racing heart and swung the door open. As I expected, I walked in to find Amity in the corner of the room reading in her Azura book. She heard the door close and looked up at me.

  
  


“Hey Luz!” She started to get up and walk towards me. “Glad to see you made it for another session!” She got closer and closer, and I felt my heart start to panic. My mind started giving me conflicting signals, and I was just confused.

  
  


_What the hell? Why is she acting this way? Why is she acting so nice now?_

  
  


She stopped in front of me with a smile on her face as she held her book.

  
  


“Are you ready to read some more of The Great Witch Azura?” she was so happy right now, excited to read with me, as if she didn’t say all of those things yesterday.

  
  


I was stunned. I was so conflicted about the decision I was about to make now. I was still very upset about what she said, nothing was gonna change that, but the sheer spark she had in her smile and eyes as she looked at me filled me with such confusement and even pity.

  
  


_Was I really about to shatter her heart?_

  
  


I went into thought for a second, as I felt the emotional side of me start to kick in. I didn’t know what to do. I just walked passed her without saying a word and sat at the desk next to where she was moments ago.

  
  


I heard her say something as I passed by, but I wasn’t listening. I was so conflicted about what I should do in this current moment. As much as I hate being torn apart like this, I don’t think I could ever do the same. I wouldn’t for the most part. I don’t want to be like the others. The people that shatter other’s hopes, and completely ruin their demeanor.

  
  


“Hey Luz, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

  
  


Amity’s question stirred up my thoughts once again, as well as my emotions. I started feeling scared at this point. I was afraid I was gonna fuck something up. Like maybe I did misinterpreted what I heard…? I honestly don’t know.

  
  


“Luz...you’re scaring me...what’s wrong..?”

  
  


But at the same time, I know what I heard. She blatantly said all of that, and it sounded like she had no regrets in doing so. It was so selfish for her to do that. She’s acting like my friend, but was talking behind my back with Boscha. She didn’t think I would ever hear her.

  
  


“Luz please, talk to me! What’s wrong?!”

  
  


Amity was shaking me, trying desperately to get an answer from me. At this point, I was starting to get mad about all of the confusion, and it was slowly directing me to what I was gonna do.

  
  


“...why are you acting so nice all of a sudden…?” Amity was taken aback from what I said. She look shocked, blinking multiple times before she realized what I said.

  
  


“W-what…?” She looked very concerned now. She kept opening her mouth as if she was gonna say something.

  
  


“You’re acting like you didn’t say awful things about me.” I glared at her, as her eyes widened a little more.

  
  


“What are you talking about?” She was looking at me like I was crazy, but I just glared at her as my emotions were being locked away from the pent up frustration I had.

  
  


“What do you think of the new girl, _Amity?_ What is your take on her, _Amity?_ ” I stood up as the realization finally hit Amity, as she covered her mouth with shock.

  
  


“I think she’s a complete weirdo.”

  
  


Amity eyes shot open immediately. She let out an audible gasp as I glared at her with a cold look.

  
  


“You….You heard that yesterday..?” She was completely caught off guard. Her hands were lightly shaking as she started to get up.

  
  


“I heard all of it….it hurt so much…” I felt my anger diminished real quick as I felt the pain of yesterday resurge through me.

  
  


“Luz..You got the wrong idea. It’s not what it looked like-”

  
  


“NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE?!” Amity stepped back, jumping at my sudden burst of anger. It had returned me.

  
  


“You said such mean things to me yesterday! Do you understand how MUCH that hurt me?! I couldn’t do anything after that! I was so distraught that I went home early! I thought you cared about me! I thought we were close, but you view me as a weirdo!” My cold stare was back, but my depression was creeping back in. Tears started forming in my eyes as I started to shake. Amity was in a similar scenario with her emotions, as she tried to step forwards.

  
  


“Luz please, listen to me, it’s not-” She tried to speak to me, but the anger resonating in me wasn’t taking it.

  
  


“Spare me the lies! Lots of people in RVA we’re the same way! ‘They didn’t mean it’ but then would go out of their way to make my life even worse! Is that your plan now? Do you want me sad and miserable?! I thought we had something?” Tears started to stream down my face as I gritted my teeth from the pain I felt deep inside me. 

  
  


Amity was now fully crying. She had her arm outstretched to me as she shook her head over and over again, trying to grasp the situation unfolding in front of her.

  
  


“Luz please! L-listen to me! I do care about you! I didn’t mean all that stuff, it wasn’t-”

  
  


“No no no no no no…” I started to feel the anxiety claw up my gut. Memories of RVA flashed in front of me. People pushing me to the ground, people calling me names, people ripping up my work I spent hours on, only for them to claim ‘they didn’t mean it’ or something of that sort to the teachers. Amity was just another one of those kids. She was gonna do all of this stuff to me, and it was gonna hurt so much.

  
  


I backed away from her, slowly towards the door. My head was still shaking, as I felt my limbs get heavy. My body shook uncontrollably, as my anger finally cleared up, leaving me with the horror of the situation.

  
  


Amity made one last move towards me, practically begging me to come back, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t risk it at all. I wanted nothing more than to just drop everything, and give her the biggest hug I could, but it was too much of a risk. I don’t know if I could handle another betrayal like that from her.

  
  


“I’m…..I’m sorry…” I barely whispered that to her, before I swung the door open and sprinted out into the hall. The hall was empty, and the classroom doors were shut, giving me the perfect view of the bathrooms ahead. I hauled my ass down that hallway so fast. I didn’t care about having a teacher snapping on me if they saw me. The only thing I saw was the bathroom.

  
  


I pretty much barged in there, and quickly slammed the door shut behind me. Thankfully no one was there again, so I locked the door. I went to a stall next to me and sat right on the closed toilet lid.

  
  


All I saw was flashes of Amity’s broken face, as she stared me down with her tear filled eyes. I made her cry. I didn’t think it would end up like that. She was so scared...just like me.

  
  


Her voice of just pure desperation hit me so fucking hard. She was practically begging for me not to leave, but I didn’t know what to do if I stayed….I didn’t want to risk anything. It was too much to take a chance on.

  
  


I felt like such a horrible person...but I did it though, didn’t I..? I told her my thoughts and that’s it...but i’m not entirely sure if it was worth it…

  
  


I spent the rest of my Club time in the bathroom sobbing, wishing so hard that everything would be good again.

  
  


\--------------------------

  
  


It was the middle of the day now. After actual school started, I cleaned myself up and went to my classes in silence. I didn’t speak to anyone in them, and kept everything all to myself.

  
  


Even when Gus, Willow, Jerbo and Viney asked if everything was alright, I just kept my mouth shut and blankly stared at the board. If I had to open up, I’d end up breaking down again.

  
  


Thankfully, I didn’t run into any problems, that is until I was about to head to gym.

  
  


I was at my locker, getting my clothe, but as I opened my locker, Boscha appeared behind me.

  
  


“Well...You look like shit.” Boscha laughed, while I just tried my best to ignore her.

  
  


“Thanks.” I said sarcastically, as Boscha stepped next to me.

  
  


“How was your Azura Book Club today? Was it lonely? Reading by yourself with no one?” I felt my depression kick up 5 notches, but my anger by 10. “Say. I don’t see any of the books in your locker. Did you finally move on from it? Great choice, that book was retarded anyways.”

  
  


“Listen Boscha, I don’t need to be hearing the same old shit from you like I do every single fucking day. If you would be so kind to take your unibrow looking hair elsewhere for a change, that would be nice.”

  
  


_Where the fuck did that come from?_

  
  


I was surprised. I don’t think I consciously did that. I would’ve never even thought of a insult like that, what the fuck.

  
  


Boscha wasn't happy about that. Her mouth shot open as her eyes widened. She touched her hair for a moment before her face contorted into an angry frown.

  
  


“Listen here dipshit.” She pushed me into the lockers hard. My back stinging with pain as I hit the metal pieces sticking out slightly. She stepped closer and was a few feet away from my face.

  
  


“Say that shit to me one more time, and I can guarantee you that face of yours is gonna be bruised and battered up in a matter of SECONDS.”

  
  


I gritted my teeth at her, ready to take anything at this point. I was so sick of being pushed around by her, It was about time I placed my foot down.

  
  


“Leave her alone, _Boscha._ ”

  
  


I didn’t recognize that voice at first until I realized what she did: sneer at Boscha’s name the same way Boscha does to me and her.

  
  


Standing in front of both of us, was Amity, and she looked like she was ready to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, what an interesting ending/cliffhanger. What's gonna happen? Well you'll have to wait next saturday....or next time if something else disrupts my schedule. I promise I'll try my best to get it done by then. I'll see you guys next time! 
> 
> -CircularCreations


	11. Holding Your Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to chapter 11 of The New Girl. I've been waiting to show you this chapter. Things go down here! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'll see you next time! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

"...amity...?" There was a moment of silence as all three of us stood there, comprehending what was happening.

  
  


Looking at Amity, I can tell she wasn't having much of a good day since Club. Her eyes were slightly red, while the skin around it looked puffy. The girl looked like she cried her heart out, and that made me feel even more bad about abandoning her earlier.

  
  


"What did you just tell me?" Boscha's voice was laced with both venom and surprise. I'm pretty sure the last thing she expected was anybody to stand up for me. That person being Amity must've also set off a few alarms in her head.

  
  


Amity stepped a little closer to us as Boscha still gripped me. I could see Amity's hands tightening into a fist.

  
  


"Are you _stupid?_ I said to leave her alone." Much like Boscha, her voice was laced with venom, as each word she said stung me, even though it wasn't directed at me. Bosha turned more towards her, but didn't let go. I guess she didn't want me running off.

  
  


"Who the FUCK are you to tell me what to do?" She scoffed before continuing. "You're really gonna stand up for her?" She shook me lightly, getting the "her" across. "You said it yourself the other day. She's a complete weirdo." Boscha started to laugh, as I felt the memories of Amity resurfaced my head. I hung my head low while she laughed.

  
  


"Can't believe you actually thought I think of her that way." Amity was now a bit closer, a few feet away. Boscha shot a look of her of pure shock. I did the same, but more so for the fact that Mom was right. It was a misunderstanding, and I was jumping to conclusions.

  
  


"I might've said that stuff, but I didn't mean anything. I only said it because you put me on the spot, and since you're a 'good friend', you wouldn't take anything but what I said as an answer." I felt Boscha's grip on me tighten as she took in this information from her supposed friend.

  
  


"I'll tell you what I really think of her. She's an amazing person. Much better than _you._ She actually cares about my feelings, she enjoys my company, she's a really fun person to be with, and me and her actually have similar interests."

  
  


Amity dug into her bag, and pulled out her Azura book. She brandished it in front of Boscha, who was taking in all of this new information. To say she was stunned would be an understatement.

  
  


Boscha's grip tightened 10 times more than how it was before, looking back at her face, she was furious. Her 'friend' that I'm sure she was with for years now was shunning her, and finally placing her foot down, just to protect me.

  
  


Boscha wasn't having it. She slammed me into the locker again, to my shock. The pain this time was worse since it was the exact same location. She gave me a hate filled stare before turning back.

  
  


"So what you're telling me right now is that you actually care about this piece of **_shit_ ** more so than your actual friend who has been with you since the beginning." Amity shook her head, and stepped a little closer.

  
  


"You were _never_ my friend, Boscha. You have always been such a harsh, rude and disrespectful person to both the people you "cared" about, and the people you didn't. You never cared about my feelings. You never took anyone's emotions into consideration. You never wondered if you were being too much. You are a bully, and I'm sick of sticking by your side. I'd rather be with someone who actually makes me feel like it's worth living." Amity looked at me for a moment, but in that moment me and her locked eyes, I swear everything around us went blank. Not even Boscha's grip was registering to me.

  
  


I saw the pain and regret she had in her eyes, and the half smile she held up. She wanted nothing more than what I wanted too. I would've said something, if Boscha once again didn't bash me in the lockers. I gritted my teeth in pain as the world popped in around me again. When I had my vision back, I saw that one of Boscha's hands were off my hoodie, and was held in front of me, in the form of a fist.

  
  


"Well, if that's what you think, I don't care. This bitch will always be a loser in my eyes, and you know what? I think a few bruises would be a nice _fucking_ look on her." Her voice had pure rage in it. Even though she wasn't shouting, the words hit me just as hard. I looked back at Boscha, and she turned to me, with a small grin on her face.

  
  


The next few moments I would describe as confusing. My vision was all over the place and I couldn't see what was happening. I held my face up as Boscha proceeded to hit me, but...why wasn't I feeling any pain? I'm pretty sure Boscha wouldn't be going easy on me, not after what she discovered.

  
  


It only took seconds to realize what was happening. I wasn't getting hit at all. In fact, I didn't feel her death grip on me anymore. Opening my eyes, I saw Amity in front of me this time, facing away. Looking past her, I saw Boscha on the ground, with a couple of other kids in the hallway watching the event unfold.

  
  


"I'm going to make this warning absolutely clear. If you ever touch or bother Luz ever again, you better _fucking pray_ I'm not in the area." 

  
  


Amity wasn't holding back. Her voice boomed in the hallway, as everyone else was quietly murmuring to each other. Boscha looked up with a confused look before registering what had happened. She had a look of unspeakable hatred. She slowly stood up, before flashing a look toward us.

  
  


"Go to fucking hell."

  
  


And with that, Boscha lunged herself at Amity, throwing punches left and right to her sides. Amity managed to push her off and move the fighting towards the middle of the hall.

  
  


Amity got a few hits off her afterwards, aiming straight to the face, leaving marks with every punch she threw. Boscha then grabbed her hair, yanked it hard, and threw her on the ground, and proceeded to continue punching.

  
  


I was stuck to the lockers, as if Boscha was still holding me there. My legs refused to move, as I witnessed all of this unfold in front of me. Boscha got a few good swings off Amity, blackening her eye, and bruising up her cheek, before Amity hit her in the gut, and practically uppercutted her. Boscha fell back as Amity started to kick her side.

  
  


My heart was racing, as my vision started to go dark again. While the wild cheers and excitement of the other kids blared off in the background, they soon became muffled. The only people in my view were the girls, fighting on the ground.

  
  


They were pretty battered up now. Boscha held onto her gut as she slowly got back up, while Amity rubbed her shoulder, also getting up. They both looked at each other before continuing the fight.

  
  


They were going to beat each other senseless, and it was because I decided to open my stupid mouth towards Boscha. As much as I hate her, I didn't wish for her to be caught up in a fight. Seeing Amity all bruised up made me feel even more bad towards her. She was emotionally wrecked earlier, and now she's going to be seriously hurt if they didn't stop.

  
  


In the darkness, I shouted at them to stop. I saw them still go at it, while the blaring of the kids started to become clear again. I called out again, begging them to stop. I still couldn't move. My body was still petrified in the stance I held. I did as much as I could, but they still fought.

  
  


A split second later, after a couple of blinks, my vision finally came back. More kids were around the girls now, as they still persisted in the fight. At this point, they were both bleeding, and I thought it was never gonna end.

  
  


Multiple footsteps were heard from the right, and looking within the crowd, I could see the green hats. Security barged their way through the crowd, and practically dragged both of them off each other. The ground had a few blood spots, and both girls did their best to get back to each other, but the sheer strength of security kept them away. One of them called someone on their walkie talkie, and said that they got it under control. An "okay" was heard from the walkie talkie, and then it was put away.

  
  


"Everyone, back to your classes! We don't want to hear anything about this situation later on!" The guards screamed, before dragging both girls away. I saw Amity look back at me for a moment before she disappeared, and a small smile flashed on her bruised face, before the crowd blocked her view.

  
  


Once security disappeared, the kids soon started scattering. Some took photos of the blood stains while others talked about it with their friends.

  
  


I was finally able to move once the kids started disappearing away from me, and I felt like total shit. I looked down at the blood stains myself, and I felt the worst kind of guilt I have ever experienced in my life. Trying to ignore it, I grabbed my uniform from my locker and slowly proceeded to gym class.

  
  


\-----------------

  
  


I couldn't take my mind off everything in gym class. It was the worst experience I've been through in such a long time.

  
  


At this point, the kids were talking about the massive throw down that happened between Boscha and Amity, and I was hearing so many rumors about "who won" and that bullshit.

  
  


Once again, I isolated myself from everyone. I was in no mood to talk to my friends there, even though they tried to start up a conversation with me.

  
  


Class, of course started with warm ups, but I could barely even go through everything. My thoughts were going ballistic from everything that had happened today. From me snapping to Amity, to her defending for me, and then her finally having a throw down with Boscha. It was too much for me, and my heart physically hurt from all of it.

  
  


It wasn't until we were doing jogs where it really got to me. My mind was already going ballistic about everything, but I started to think about what I did. I started all of that. Maybe if I just listened to Mom's advice, with her saying it was a misunderstanding, I wouldn't have snapped on Amity, I wouldn't have made her cry. I wouldn't have had her defending for me, ruining whatever relationship she had with Boscha, and then getting into a fight with her. That could've all been prevented, if I had just kept my fucking mouth shut. I felt my body shake, as my vision became hazy again. I felt so light headed from all the memories, that I thought I was gonna pass out.

  
  


Eventually, Jerbo caught up to me, and asked me one simple question.

  
  


"I heard about Amity and Boscha. What the hell happened with them? I thought they were friends or whatever."

  
  


I remember the exact feelings of guilt and pain grew so much, I thought I was going to die from it. I felt my entire body shake just as badly as my last breakdown, and my emotions go all over the place. I couldn't run anymore.

  
  


I heard the teacher call my name, and tell me to keep going, but I physically couldn't. I was so...disgusted with myself...with letting all of this happen because of my actions. I never truly hated myself more than ever.

  
  


I sat down against the gym stage as Jerbo rushed over to me. He saw the look I had and wondered what happened. I didn't hear the exact words he said but I know that's what he went with.

  
  


"...it's my fault…"

  
  


Jerbo looked a bit confused as to what I was saying.

  
  


"It's my fault."

  
  


Like a broken record, I kept repeating that line over and over again. Jerbo was getting very concerned, while the teacher and Viney rushed over to me. Tears started flowing down my face as the unwanted reminders of how terrible I am poured into my subconscious.

  
  


"It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault." Viney looked at me as if I was mad while the teacher looked at me as if I was injured.

  
  


"Luz, are you okay, what is wrong?" Viney asked.

  
  


"Did you hurt yourself dear?" The teacher added.

  
  


"Why are you saying that?" Jerbo asked, very concerned now.

  
  


All of them would all step back a little as I started to sob harder in front of them. All I thought about was Amity, and all the unnecessary pain I made her go through. All the crying she did because of me. All the confused emotions she must've gone under because of my actions. I just simply concluded that I was a terrible person.

  
  


"IT'S ALL MY FAULT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! I'M SO SORRY!"

  
  


I heard muffled talking afterwards, but I just ignored it. The thoughts were basically screaming at me. What have I done? Everything is my fault, and now Amity is gonna go through even more shit because of me. I thought right there on the floor that I was no better than Boscha.

  
  


I sat there on the gym floor, with everyone trying to calm me down until security dragged me to the office once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was alot. Like I said multiple times, just bear with me here. I promise it'll get better for them. Anyways, I'll see you next week for chapter 12. 
> 
> -CircularCreations


	12. A Return to The Office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Welcome to Chapter 12 of The New Girl! Try to ignore the bland title, I couldn't think of anything better.
> 
> I feel like this is a chapter that Luz needs really, because she has been through a lot recently, so I'm gonna give her a mental break here.
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoy the chapter, I'll see you guys next week, peace!
> 
> -CircularCreations

The office was quiet this time around. The principal wasn't asking me non stop questions like last time. He just let me sit there, and let all of the pain out. I believe he did that for my sake, considering last time it was not helping in the slightest.

  
  


By the time I was in the office, I was more controlling of myself, but I still felt like total shit. I don't see how I  _ couldn _ ' _ t  _ feel that way. Again, just today I made so many wrong decisions that had ultimately fucked up other's days. Amity's and Boscha's primarily. Even though I don't like Boscha, I still feel bad about causing the falling out with her and Amity. They were probably great friends at some point, I just don’t know what happened.

  
  


The principal made a sigh as I was finally easing up on myself. He almost looked frustrated with my appearance again, but if he was, he tried his best to not show it, opting for more of a concerned look.

  
  


"Clearly Luz, something more must be happening if you're constantly having breakdowns like this." He cleared up his throat before continuing. "Now I'm not gonna ask what's going on, as that can be personal stuff you don't wanna talk about. I can respect that." He stood up next to me and gave me a pat on the shoulders.

  
  


"I'm….I'm sorry Principal Bumps…." He shook his head with a sympathetic look on his face.

  
  


"Don't apologize Luz, I know stuff like this is kinda out of your control-" 

  
  


"No..." I interrupted him, causing a confused look on his face. I guess I better elaborate before he starts asking.

  
  


"...I'm sure you heard about the fight earlier right..?" The principal nodded.

  
  


"Of course, I was the one who called security down there." I lowered my head as I thought about everything for the 100th time today. It doesn't matter how much I think about it, I still feel like shit.

  
  


"....I was the one who unintentionally started it…." He looked at me with genuine confusion. I don't think he was expecting that.

  
  


"What do you mean?" He sat back down at his desk, looking at me as if to say "continue on".

  
  


"B-Boscha was being….well rude...to me….I already wasn't having a good day because I thought I was…" I felt the words locked in my throat, momentarily refusing to come out.

  
  


"...I thought I was having a falling out with Amity….and my day was already bad with that…" I felt a few more tears drip down my cheek as I remembered the events unfold in my head.

  
  


"....I kinda told Boscha off...and she didn't take it well….she was about ready to beat me up...until Amity arrived." The principal was listening intently, not saying a word as he listened in. 

  
  


"....they had a falling out, and then had their fight….all because of me…" I sat there with my head down, trying so hard not to break down again. "It's my fault all of that happened."

  
  


"Luz-"

  
  


"Maybe if I just kept my mouth shut, none of this would've happened!" My body shook as I felt anger fill my body momentarily. "I always do this crap! I say something or do something that causes unintentional consequences to happen! I always overthink, and because of that, the worst happens! I’m such a fuck up! I was hugging my knees on the chair, as I felt my eyes fill up more with tears. I heard the principal stutter something, before backtracking and taking a sigh again, as he got up.

  
  


"Luz, I can assure you that you aren't...that." I looked up at him, feeling so much self hatred in myself. I was always like this, back in RVA. I would fuck something up, whether it be for class, or just driving kids away. I was always a fuck up. That was the reason why I didn’t have any friends. That’s why I didn’t fit in at all. Because I kept fucking everything up.

  
  


"Then why didn't anybody like me in my old school..?" 

  
  


In my head, I said that with frustration, but it actually came out with such desperation, wondering why over and over again. Clearly he wasn't expecting that, as he stepped back a little with a look of sadness and pity. He contemplated what he would say, before a minute later, he finally closed his eyes and sat down in the empty seat next to me.

  
  


"Because there are some kids that are just….harsh and rude to the entire world...I know I've been through those people back then." He tried giving a slight smile, but it kinda faltered as he saw my exhausted face. "I am really sorry that you had those kids push you around, but I would like to tell you this. You are doing so much better here."

  
  


I looked at him as if he was crazy, but he must've known what I was about to say, as he cut me off.

  
  


"I know you must think I'm being crazy or stupid here right? I know, but just listen. You have friends here don't you?" I took a moment to think about the group: Gus, Willow, Jerbo, Viney and of course Amity. I nodded my head lightly. "Have you been having, at least for the most part, a better experience here?"

  
  


Again, I thought about my time here, and how it has been significantly better than RVA. I haven't been pushed down to the ground. I haven't had my items broken or stolen. I had none of that happen. I nodded my head again, seeing where he was going with this.

  
  


“Have you been more happy here?” Honestly, that one threw me off for a moment, because recent events have been pretty bad mentally towards me. I felt like I was back in RVA, and it truly scared me for a moment, but I took my mind off all of that, and thought about everything else. The group, the teachers, the better classes, the lack of multiple people pushing me down. The reduced number of insults thrown my way. It truly was so much better, and in turn, I was so much happier. I felt like I had meaning for once, and it felt so good inside me. I finally nodded my head, as a small smile formed on my face.

  
  


"That's where your mind should be right now. While recent events are fresh on your mind, you can't forget that you're still doing so much better here. You have people that care about you. They care about you so much that they would fight for you." He gave a more convincing smile, and I felt my already existing smile grow a little,, but it quickly faltered as I thought about Amity again.

  
  


"Still…I put Amity through so much today...I made her cry, I broke her heart...and now she is gonna be going through more because of the fight…" He shook his head towards me.

  
  


"While yeah, I can't really change anything in terms of punishment for both girls, you know, school guidelines that are out of my control. I can tell you that whatever happened earlier between you two will be a distant memory." I looked up at him with a skeptical look as he smiled down at me. "Even though you did that to her, she still willingly defended for you. She protected you." He gave me a light smile, as I felt a little hope surface. "Are you just gonna sit there and still think she doesn't care about you?"

  
  


I gave it some thought for a moment. He did have a point. If Amity didn't like me anymore, whether it be because of earlier or something else, she would've stayed back and let Boscha handle me around. She destroyed whatever relationship her and Boscha had, and it was for my sake. I didn’t ask for any help, or insinuate anything towards her when she appeared...that was something she consciously chose to do.

  
  


I wiped my eyes and started to smile as I thought about that. The principal lightened his expression, as the words finally registered to me.

  
  


"Yeah, I wouldn't doubt it for a second." He gave it a moment before continuing. "Do you think you can go back to classes, or are you not ready? I can't send you home again, but I'll allow you to sit in the lobby until you feel ready." I gave him a smile and nodded. 

  
  


"I'll do that then. I still need to calm myself a little." I proceeded to get up from the chair.

  
  


"I'll give you a pass on this period, but try to be ready for the next bell. That'll give you 10 minutes." I nodded at him, but before I left, I turned towards him,

  
  


“Thank you...for the talk...it really helped a lot.”

  
  


He gave me a smirk as he sat back down at his desk.

  
  


“Just helping out one of my students in my school.” I smiled again, before closing the door, but I momentarily stood in front of the door as I heard him chuckle to himself.

  
  


"She really cares about Amity huh?"

  
  


I couldn't help but chuckle as well and blush.

  
  


_ Yes I do. _

  
  


\----------------------

  
  


It's been about 5 minutes since then, and I'm feeling a little better.

  
  


I mean there is no way I'll feel completely fine. I still feel absolutely horrible with everything I did to Amity earlier, but Principal Bump helped me feel better about the fight situation. He even gave me a little hope that Amity’s relationship with me is going to be fine.

  
  


He was right. At least I  _ hoped  _ he was right about Amity. She did willingly stand up for me. Like I said, I never asked for her help. She was there in a heartbeat for me. She even saved me from being beaten up by Boscha, and took the blows for me. 

  
  


I have some mixed feelings about that. I didn't want her to get hurt, but she still willingly did it, without me asking or forcing her to do so, not that I would ever do that. I wouldn’t want anyone fighting for me, because I’d feel horrible about the injuries they would get.

  
  


I still remember the look she gave me earlier, right before they were dragged away. I can't describe what emotion she had, but I know exactly what she was asking with that look.

  
  


_ "Please forgive me." _

  
  


I hope that's what she meant, because if so, she’s got my forgiveness.

  
  


A door shutting to my left snapped me out of my thoughts, and I saw Ms. Clawthorne walking out of the office.

  
  


_ Hmm, that's weird. When did she get in? _

  
  


I must've been distracted when she entered, as I was heavily in my thoughts. She walked next to me, stopped and looked down.

  
  


"I heard what happened before, and why you're here now." She looked concerned. Not like in the fake way most teachers would, but genuinely. She was studying me, and gave looks of concern about my bleak expression..

  
  


"How are you feeling? Do you feel better?" I looked up at her and slightly nodded.

  
  


"Yeah, the principal helped me a little calm down...told me some stuff I hope is true." She gave a small smile.

  
  


"I heard about it too. I can say it is true sweetheart." I looked once again with a somewhat surprised look. "Like he said, Amity helped you out there, and defended you. Although the methods were a bit...extreme.." she squinted a little as she seemed to recall the news. "...it was still honorable for her to do that for a friend." I gave a small smile, as I looked away from her.

  
  


"It must've been rough, with whatever happened with you two earlier, but it looks like she was making an effort to make up whatever happened. Am I wrong with that?" I hesitated answering because that small part in my brain was still saying Amity wasn't my friend, but I brushed that aside and nodded my head lightly. She smiled as she looked at the clock.

  
  


"Hmm, the bell is about to ring. You have my class next right?" I thought for a moment before remembering.

  
  


"Yeah I do." She gave off a warm smile.

  
  


"Why don't I help you get settled down there. Would you like that?" I saw her hand outstretched as she got up, and I suddenly felt so warm in my chest. All the pain I was feeling suddenly vanished as she was offering her care. It was a minor thing, but it hit me so much deeper than it probably should've.

  
  


I grabbed her hand, and she pulled me up, but before she turned around, I gave her a hug. I know that's something people don't typically do to teachers, but I was a mess okay? Her kindness was just what I needed right now.

  
  


"Thank you…"

  
  


She gave a light one back as she chuckled.

  
  


"It's nothing kid. Now come on, let's get the class ready before we're too late." She opened the door, and politely kept it open for me. Grabbing my stuff, I walked out in the hallway, and proceeded to the next class.

  
  


I thought about Amity one more time, and that look she gave me. I really care about her still. I still love her, and more and more I thought about the fight, more I started to believe she still cares about me too.

  
  


I just hope she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a sweet ending. 
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, I had the intentions of making Lilith the main person Luz talked to, but as I wrote, it slowly molded into Principal Bump filling that role. At least I gave Lilith an appearance still at the end.
> 
> Also, I plan on doing chapter art for a couple of chapters soon. I've been busy with other drawing projects, but I will soon get some more art done for the chapters. I hope to at least get one in this week.
> 
> Anyways, I'll see you next week, peace out!
> 
> -CircularCreations


	13. Fixing Things Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, I am here to bring you chapter 13 this week! 
> 
> I'm not going to say anything, because this is a chapter you guys probably been waiting for, so I'm gonna let you read it. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> -CircularCreations

The rest of the day was thankfully fine for the most part. I mean I still wasn't great, but no other surprises jumped up on me.

  
  


History class really did help me a little. Ms. Cawthorne was so caring for me during it. Well, she wasn't like, openly caring. It was still class, but she took in consideration with the fact that I most likely didn't wish to speak. She gave me a pass on participation and just let me listen to what she was saying. She would give me little smiles every now and then that made my spirit feel a little better.

  
  


By the end of that class, she pulled me aside and gave me a lollipop. She said it wasn't much, but she hoped it would at least do something. It did, as I walked out of that class with a smile.

  
  


The rest of the day was just a blur honestly. Just thinking about being home and alone, to rest with my thoughts actually caused the day to go by so much faster. I guess it's because none of the teachers randomly called on me to answer some questions.

  
  


Not surprisingly, I didn't see Boscha or Amity anywhere for the rest of the days. They were most likely in I.S.S or something. Passing by their lockers, I couldn't help but think about them.

  
  


I also finally opened up a little bit to the group. I figured they were concerned enough, and I wasn't too emotionally broken at this point. I didn't tell them everything, but I told them enough where they understood that today was just not a good day. I apologized for the distance I was giving them, but they said it was okay, and that I really needed it.

  
  


I also told Mom what happened when I finally saw her at the end of the day. She saw how wrecked and bleak I looked, and before she could ask, I just spilled all the information on her. I wasn't as broken as I opened up to her last time, so it was much easier to tell her. She gave me a hug and assured me that it was going to be alright. I really hope that's true.

  
  


\----------------------

  
  


That other side of my mind is still here. I felt it as I was resting on my bed as I got home. It kept reminding me of how horrible I am, what I did and what kind of friend I am to do that etc etc.

  
  


It was more….muffled this time around however. With being in the office with the Principal and History class, I was able to calm myself enough to not feel like I was gonna break down any second. That didn't mean I was over it.

  
  


I still feel so fucking bad. I don't think I will be able to get over it, even if Amity and I make up and get close again. I ultimately made her day much more shitty. I didn't want to at all, that was the last thing I expected….but I was too scared about being backstabbed again. I didn't want to give her my trust and be immediately ostracized like before. It would've killed me right then and there.

  
  


Her crying is still fresh on my mind. Right before I slammed that Club door shut, I heard her cry my name out. I didn't pay too much attention to it, as I was already at my breaking point, but my mind still got it. She yelled out to me, before I could hear her own mental breakdown start in that room.

  
  


...that's horrible isn't it? I just….I don't even know how I had it in me to ditch her like that. I'd like to say it was out of fear, and I'm most likely right about that, but I can't help but think in any other situation, I'd probably would've stayed.

  
  


I shook my head, and got rid of the thoughts. I really didn't want to have yet another breakdown. My eyes actually hurt from all the crying. I started thinking about what Principal Bump said to me earlier.

  
  


_ Are you just gonna sit there and still think she doesn't care about you? _

  
  


It was a really good point. She did stand up for me. She did stick by my side even though I shattered her heart earlier. She could've easily left me to be stuck with Boscha, and most likely would've gotten my shit kicked in...but she ultimately saved me…

  
  


Even though it was not the right time to think about it, I fantasize for a second about her sticking up to me again, to everyone who wronged me. In both Hexside and RVA.

  
  


That didn't last long as I heard a knock at my door, and it slowly opened, showing Mom peer in.

  
  


"Hey Luz…" she said, with a small smile on her face, which kinda confused me.

  
  


"Hey Mom, uh what's up?" She smiled a little more as she opened the door all the way.

  
  


"Well...I thought I'd let you know you got a visitor…" she looked to her right and nodded to whoever was there. A moment later, my eyes shot wide open, suddenly seeing Amity in my doorway.

  
  


"I um...I'll let you two fix whatever else needs fixing….if you need me, I'll be downstairs." Mom gave me another warm smile, as she patted Amity's back, before closing the door behind her.

  
  


Amity stood in the middle of my room, looking absolutely miserable. I don't blame her. She has been through a lot today.

  
  


I noticed some patch marks she had on her face, a bandage around her arm and a few bruises scattered around her. The fight must've been much more intense than what I saw, because I was basically losing it when they were going at it. I guess that would explain the blood that was on the ground.

  
  


"Amity…" I stood up from my bed and looked her in the eyes. I guess that proved the wrong choice to do, because the next thing I knew, she was shaking just as much as I would be, and tears immediately poured out of her eyes.

  
  


She fell onto her knees and proceeded to sob right in front of me. She wasn't even trying to be subtle with it. She was letting out all of the pain she must've been holding in, and it completely shattered my heart. I felt a few tears form myself.

  
  


"L-Luz...I am so sorry for what I did! I didn't mean any of t-those words you heard from me the other day! I don't think you're a weirdo! You're so far from that-" she gripped onto her pants tightly as another wave of sobs came pouring out of her. 

  
  


"I feel so...horrible….I'm such a horrible person for saying that….I should've just said the truth to Boscha, but...but-"

  
  


I couldn't take it anymore. Any more of watching her break down in front of me and I would've been joining along with her. I needed her to know it wasn't entirely her fault. I can't live with the idea of her putting all of the blame on her shoulders.

  
  


I slouched down onto my knees right in front of her, and I held onto her. She jumped a little when I hugged her, clearly she wasn't expecting it.

  
  


"Amity….it isn't all your fault. I don't blame you for saying all of that stuff. It's Boscha we're talking about. She wouldn't have taken anything else as an answer…" I slowly rubbed her back and tried my best to comfort her. 

  
  


"I thought I lost you….which is why I snapped earlier…I am so sorry for doing that to you….but you don't have to worry anymore...I'm right here….and I don't plan on leaving again…" Amity shook more now, as she took in my words. She started crying harder as she wrapped her arms around me and let all the pain out. There was no way in hell I would abandon her again. No matter what.

  
  


I started to cry a little myself, remembering everything today. All the guilt and pain we both went through was too much, and so on the floor, we let it all out.

  
  


"I…..I was so scared…I thought you were gonna hurt me again….that's why I ran away….I was too worried.." Amity rubbed my back as she tried to control her sobbing.

  
  


"I don't blame you….it was rough wasn't it…? To hear that?" I lightly nodded as she gripped me tighter. Her shaken lighten up, but she still kept her face buried in my shoulder.

  
  


"...I don't hate you Luz….I could never hate you...I know those stuff you heard must've hit hard, but I didn't mean all of it…" Unwanted thoughts of being called a loser by literally everyone surfaced my mind, and I couldn't help but feel cynical about it.

  
  


"But….you weren't wrong...I am a weirdo….nobody liked me in my old school….they always called me weird and stupid..and I was always alone…" I took a breath before going back into my thoughts. "Why would someone as amazing as you...hang out with someone who is as lame as me…?" I felt more tears pour down my face as I was about to start crying, before Amity looked up at me and wiped them away.

  
  


"Don't you DARE say that about yourself." She said it with such authority that it shut me up. I just listened to her stunned, thinking I just pissed her off.

  
  


"You are NOT a loser Luz. You are the exact opposite of that. You are so fun to hang out with. I love being with you when we hang out, whether it be for skating or reading Azura. Speaking of that, I'm really happy you enjoy Azura as well. I find it nice to be reading it with someone like you…" my eyes widened as she continued to say all of these nice things to me.

  
  


"You have a nice sense of humor. No matter what you always find a way to make me laugh. You have such a nice personality too. You're so sweet and caring, more caring than anyone else I know…" There was a look of sadness before she snapped back towards me.

  
  


"My point is that I really care about you…" I noticed her start to blush. "You know why I like to hang out with you?" She gave me the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen, and wiped her own eyes.

  
  


"Because you are the most amazing person that I know in this world. There's literally no one else who is more perfect than you Luz…."

  
  


I'm not proud to admit that I started bawling out like a baby again after she finished. Her words were so refreshing to hear, and so...amazing that it hit me so deep. All the bad words i've heard hit me for sure, but what she just said was way deeper than that. It drove away every single bad feeling that was in my soul.

  
  


I shook like crazy, clutched onto her sleeves, as I sobbed uncontrollably onto her shoulder. She must've knew I was crying in a good way, as she hugged me tightly, never loosening her grip. I've never felt so happy in my life. I know I have said that many times already, but right here was such a huge relief that I'll never forget it.

  
  


"..thank you...so much for being the best girl in the world….you are the best…" that barely came out as a whisper, from both embarrassment and my crying, but Amity heard it clearly and giggled.

  
  


"No, thank you for being better."

  
  


I looked up at her and saw her looking at me with a beautiful smile. Her eyes were still filled with tears, but I didn't care, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and the more I looked, the more I felt my heart flutter.

  
  


I just….I couldn't hold it in anymore. All the emotions I felt, my heart fluttering and my confidence slowly coming back up, I felt like I was gonna explode. I felt like doing something...and I ended up doing it

  
  


I leaned in, and gave her a kiss.

  
  


It was the most extraordinary experience I have ever felt. It felt like shock, as my spine tingled, and my heart pumped as hard as I thought it was going to. I didn't realize what I was doing until I opened my eyes again. I felt my entire stomach jump out of me for a moment, as I basically had a heart attack.

  
  


"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I don't know what I-I was doing! I'm so sorry! Please don't be weirded out, I didn't mean it!" I jumped back away from her, feeling immediate fear.

  
  


I just got her back, and now I just fucked things up again. She must think I'm weird now. She didn't want that at all, she only thinks of me as a friend. God, why do I keep doing this?!

  
  


As I felt my thoughts form around me, I felt something on my arm. I looked up, and Amity crawled back towards me. My heart was blaring within my chest. I did not know what she was going to do. I thought she was about to hit me honestly, but when I looked at her face again, she didn't have unspeakable anger or disgust like I imagined. She was smiling at me, grinning from ear to ear as her entire face went red.

  
  


She wiped her tears off her face, grabbed my face and pulled me back into another kiss. Everything went dark once again, except for us. I couldn't tell if time froze, or I was just going crazy again, but I wished it would never end. I felt my limbs basically get possessed, slowly wrapping around her as she continued to kiss me. It was the best feeling ever.

  
  


She finally pulled away after a minute, and giggled at me. I guess she saw the face of shock that was plastered on my face.

  
  


"I-I like you Luz...I was actually planning to tell you this earlier during club…but I never got that chance…" I felt my heart explode for two reasons. One: she likes me back, holy shit. And two: I felt even more bad. She was gonna confess and I just shattered her heart.

  
  


"I….I was planning to confess to you too. I was gonna give you a note….but then I heard you talking to Boscha…" I lowered my head, remembering the note, and the pain I felt when I ripped it up later on. I guess Amity didn't take too kindly to the sadness, as she lifted my head up and smiled.

  
  


"Well...at least we know now...right?" I felt my face heat up as I stared in her eyes. They are so pretty…

  
  


"Yeah...and I couldn't be more happy…." I giggled as I saw Amity blush more after that comment. She pulled me closer as a cheeky smile appeared on her face.

  
  


"Me too Luz...me too."

  
  


And when she gave me that third kiss, I knew one thing. The Principal was right. Ms. Clawthorne was right. Mom was right.

  
  


She doesn't just care about me….she loves me…..and I love her back. Nothing in this world is ever gonna change that, and you can bet your ass that I'm never breaking her heart again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I bet some of you guys are saying "FINALLY". I always had this outcome planned out for them, it was just a matter of timing.
> 
> I hope I did well with the pacing for them. I think I did. I also wanna do art for this, but at the moment I'm not home, so I'll work on that next week.
> 
> Anyways, I have another chapter for next week, and this one will be about Boscha. I'll let you guys theorize what it'll be about. I'll see you next Saturday.
> 
> -CircularCreations


	14. Resolving the Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to chapter 14 of The New Girl! Not much I need to say right now. But I will explain what's happening at the end. I hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> -CircularCreations

Ever since that moment, in the bedroom with Amity again, it's almost as if everything finally turned around.

  
  


I finally feel...truly happy with myself and with life in general. I mean going to Hexside already made me feel more self worth, but I still had that feeling of pure negativity. No matter what, after something great, I'd feel that gut feeling. Something bad was right around the corner, and it would screw me up. For the most part, that feeling was right.

  
  


Well, it's been two week since Amity and I confessed to each other, and I gotta say that feeling has not appeared yet.

  
  


I jump out of Mom's car, and actually feel hopeful for school again, like I did in the beginning. When I look up at the tall structure, I don't have that anxiety anymore. I don't get that gut feeling of uneasiness. I don't hear random voices in my head telling me everything will go wrong. I finally have a positive feeling now.

  
  


I can tell Amity feels the same way. At least whenever I see her in school, since she came back a week ago. She's always smiling now. There isn't any hint of...what's the word? Uncertainty? I don't think I can pinpoint the feeling, but before everything, she would always have the blank look, and that told me something. Something negative.

  
  


But now, she's more positive than ever. Whenever she sees me, I can see the joy in her eyes, as she waves at me. I'm the same way really. I feel my face blush up every time I see her within the crowd, or when she passes by.

  
  


We're kinda taking the "secret" quotas for our relationship. We're treating each other as friends around the others, but when we hang out outside of school, or are alone somewhere, we fully show our true selves to each other.

  
  


Don't get the wrong idea either. We're not doing anything... _ kinky  _ or that sort. It's just true love for one another. Just wanted to clarify that.

  
  


She is so adorable, you don't even understand it. You can say that I'm just blind to everything else when she's around, but I swear ever since we got together in secret, she got like ten times cuter. 

  
  


She only came over once within this week, but that's because she's kinda grounded for most of it because of her fight with Boscha. I guess her family gave her a pass this day for some reason, but she came over regardless and we read some Azura. It was really fun, but it was more memorable because since we're together, she was more close than she was before.

  
  


I remember specifically during one chapter, I was reading out loud to her. As I was moving onto the next passage, she scooted over to my side and rested her head on my shoulder and continued to watch me read. I swear I had a heart attack there, as I jumped a little, both from embarrassment and surprise.

  
  


She also took my hoodie that was on my bed at the time and wore it for the whole session, and my heart could barely handle it. Her wearing my beanie before was cute, but this was the peak of adorableness.

  
  


It's so nice...to finally have a break, you know? I mean my entire life for the most part was filled with anxiety and worry about what's to come. I mean, I only have a mom. I never even met my dad...and you've heard enough of RVA throughout all of this. Never once in my life did I feel calm and collected. Even reading Azura never fully calmed me down, because it always made me wish I was living in that world instead of this one. Had me longing for a world where I may had some kind of meaning.

  
  


I finally found that place. Hexside. I truly didn't expect to make friends here. I had the mindset of thinking every place I go to would be shit because I'm there. I mean...that's what  _ everyone  _ drilled into my head in RVA.

  
  


_ Because I'm a weirdo and someone who didn't fit in, I'm not going to make any friends now. _

  
  


I have now learned to accept it's okay to be weird. At least a little part of me accepted it. I still have that nagging side of me that wants to believe that I'm not special or worth anything still, and even though it still gets to me at times, I have the people around me to remind me that it is nothing but lies. I do matter to them, and that's all I need.

  
  


With Amity back at school, Boscha is also back too, and I'm surprised really. She hasn't bothered me at all. Even when I would run into her at the lockers, she would keep quiet and move on with her day. I know Amity did threaten her, in case she bothered me again, but I wouldn't think it would bother Boscha  _ this much _ .

  
  


In fact, now that I mentioned it, Boscha is completely antisocial now. At least whenever I catch glimpses of her. Before the falling out, she would have other girls in her group circle she would talk to, not just Amity, but now since the fight, she is completely silent. She's not even willingly talking to her other friends. 

  
  


I can't say she didn't deserve it, but I can't help but think I caused that.

  
  


I didn't like Boscha. I mean it was clear from the start. She constantly picked and bullied me, and that didn't help me trying to fit into a new school. It gave me the wrong idea that this school was going to be RVA again.

  
  


But I saw outside of her bugging me, she still had other personalities. I noticed it when I saw her talking to her friends before. She would laugh and talk, and generally have a good time. Not just in the dickhead way either, like she was making fun of someone, she was genuinely talking about things she was interested in, and would share that with her group.

  
  


But now, she can barely muster up her voice when she's called on in class, and even though she is no friend by any means, I still felt myself feeling guilty for what I did.

  
  


Did I even do anything? I mean...I was just defending for myself for once. I was tired of the bullying, and I was putting my foot down. That shouldn't be my fault...and yet it feels like it...and I shouldn't be feeling bad for an asshole who has done nothing but make my experience worse….but here I am, overthinking things.

  
  


Feeling bad for a bully.

  
  


I haven't had the gut to bring it up to Amity. I didn't want to remind her of what happened, and I felt like she would brush it aside. Like she would say something like "please don't think too much of it, it's not your fault." I want to think that….but I can't.

  
  


...I feel like I needed to have a talk with Boscha. I felt like that's something that was  _ needed _ . If you saw her yourself, before and after the fight, you would be thinking the same thing. She's a husk of her former self really. Even the teachers have noticed I believe. Ms. Clawthorne definitely gave her some concerned looks when she tried to get an answer from her.

  
  


I didn't know how I could even get up to say something to her. I can't just stroll up and be like "hey." I think the last thing she wants is to be having a conversation with me. I don't know what she would do if i tried to talk to her, but her simply yelling at me was the most tame thing I could think about.

  
  


I was stuck in a loophole, thinking about what I should do. I couldn't get rid of the guilt I had, and I wanted to do something with it, but at the same time, Boscha would most likely kill me the second I opened my mouth to her. It was honestly driving me crazy, I just wanted a resolution. It only took a while until I finally had that chance.

  
  


It was the end of the school day, and I was saying goodbye to everyone. As I waited by the curb, I noticed my mom wasn't here. I wasn't too surprised because sometimes back at RVA, she was pulled in to work a bit longer for her job, so it wasn't too shocking it happened here. It would take a little bit, so knowing that, I decided to go against the wall of the school and wait. I watched all of the buses and cars pull out, as more and more kids disappeared.

  
  


As kids left, the campus became more and more quiet, and as I lingered in my thoughts, I heard something. I couldn't make it out, but it came from the side of the school, where it led into the wooded area. Out of curiosity, I slowly walked around and looked for the source of the sound.

  
  


The closer I got, the closer the sound became more and more distinct. It was crying. Someone was out here crying.

  
  


My mind immediately thought about Amity. Even though I saw her leave, something reminded me of her breakdown in my room and I was scared she was having another one of some kind. I started to speed walk towards whoever was crying. I wanted to know who it was, because whoever it was sounded like they were letting it all out.

  
  


After a few seconds, I finally cleared a little bush lining, and in front of me wasn't Amity. A part of me relaxed after that realization, but the rest of me realized who I was looking at, and it shattered my heart a little.

  
  


It was Boscha.

  
  


She was slumped over, head in her knees as she lightly cried in front of me. From the looks of it, she didn't hear me, as she continued to let it out in front of me. I felt really bad, but I didn't know what to do.

  
  


My mind was trying to figure out what to do. One side of me wanted to go up to her and try to talk, but the other side was thinking the opposite. She deserves this...doesn't she? That's the question that kept circulating my mind. I didn't know the answer for the longest time, and as I lowered my head as I slowly turned around, I finally figured it out.

  
  


No. No one deserves to be broken like this.

  
  


She needed  _ somebody _ ...even if it was someone she didn't want to see. I was willing to be there, just to understand what was going on with her. Even if that meant leaving with a few bruises or something, I was willing to take that, as long as it meant getting some kind of closure.

  
  


I slowly turned back around, and walked up to her, until I was about 6 feet away.

  
  


"Boscha..?"

  
  


She jumped up immediately and turned to my direction. Obviously as expected, the second she saw it was me, her sadden look swiftly turned into annoyance as she wiped her eyes.

  
  


"Oh great...it's  _ you. _ " She sneered at me as she refused to look at me. I felt even worse, but I tried my best to stay persistent.

  
  


"Why are you crying..?" It was the best I had to ask. I didn't know what else to say. She didn't take that well and immediately got up and stepped towards me.

  
  


"Why am I CRYING? I think that SHOULD BE FUCKING OBVIOUS." I jumped back a little bit, even though I was expecting this. "You took Amity away from me! You took my FRIEND away from me!" I noticed the little muscle twitches in her face as she continued her rant.

  
  


"I knew her since elementary! We were the best of friends! We did EVERYTHING TOGETHER!" Her breath became ragged as she continued. "She was always by my side, for everything!" I noticed the twitching in her face intensify as tears started to form.

  
  


"But then...you show up, and take her away from me! Do you even know what you were doing?!" I can tell she was trying her best to look angry, but I saw past her facade. She was broken at this moment.

  
  


"She….she fought me...because she was defending for  _ you."  _ She looked miserable for a moment before the anger returned to her.

  
  


"So don't you  _ dare  _ tell me that you're sorry." She finally turned away from me and slouched back down on the ground. "Just leave me alone."

  
  


I felt many feelings after that. I felt bad for all of this. I didn't want to break down Boscha, especially this bad. I was just tired of the constant bullying. I wanted to help her in this moment, she needed it.

  
  


It then hit me. She's trying to act as the victim here. She's trying to pin blame on me. She's blaming me for all of this to happen. That's when a switch flipped. I got mad for a moment, before I calmed my nerve and looked at her. If I wanted to help her, I needed to tell her what her issue was.

  
  


"I hate to burst your bubble Boscha...but I didn't do any of this." She snapped her head towards me, but before she could say anything, I continued on. "You're not innocent here. You drove Amity away." She was not pleased by that, as she got up and faced me again.

  
  


"Excuse me, are you trying to tell ME that I'm the problem?!" I looked at her with a blank expression, and lightly nodded. "What the fuck do you know huh? I don't recall your stupid ass ever being with us-"

  
  


"Maybe if you would SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT, I'd be able to explain it." I was expecting her to completely go ballistic at this point, and start fighting me or something, but instead, my outburst actually startled her. She looked at me with shock for a moment, before a frown reappeared on her face. She crossed her arms and looked at me.

  
  


"From what I have seen, and heard from Amity, you haven't been treating her right." She started to object that for a moment, but I gave her a stern look, and she silenced herself immediately, much to my surprise again.

  
  


"You never took her feelings into consideration, and you always demanded something. It could've been something of her possession, or someone's opinion on someone." Flashes of that day flashed in my mind, as I shocked my head lightly and looked back at Boscha.

  
  


"My point is that, sure she might've treated you nice back then, you didn't give her the same compassion back. I had nothing to do with that. I just happened to give her the compassion she was wanting, and you decided not to do that in the first place." I closed my eyes and took a breath. I hope I wasn't being too harsh with that. At this point, she was sitting back on the ground, and I felt that I might've made it a bit worse, so i backtracked a bit.

  
  


"Listen, even though you treat me like shit, I'm still here trying to give you support, because I believe you can be a good person, and the first thing you need to do is drop that attitude you have and start treating people as real friends. Not people who are obligated to follow your every request." Boscha stayed silent, I couldn't even see her face anymore. She was turned away from me. I wasn't sure if she was even listening to me or not.

  
  


I decided I said as much as I could, so I slowly turned away from her and looked back slightly.

  
  


"I hope you can do that."

  
  


I started to hear some sniffling again, and I turned back again to see her wiping more tears from her eyes. She still had an irritated look, but it looked mild now. She seemed more calm than how she was like five minutes ago.

  
  


"....you're right….I am treating people so harsh…." I was confused for a moment, but she kept going. "...I was raised by some people who are the same way. They expect nothing but their requests answered immediately...it could be anything, but you had to do it…..and I unfortunately adopted the same ways…"

  
  


It seemed like she was going through that realization hard, because she started to shake a little as more tears came out of her eyes. Her irritated look soon turned into a look of pain, and I couldn't help but feel even worse for her.

  
  


Slowly, I walked over to her, and sat next to her. She didn't seem to stop me. She was lost in her own thoughts.

  
  


"It's going to be okay." I gave her a little pat on her shoulder, but as I did that, I immediately felt something lunge at my chest. Looking down I realized it was Boscha. She was hugging me, as she started to cry more.

  
  


"How is it suppose to be okay? I am such a dickhead aren't I? I treated everyone so unfairly because of my horrible family, and I thought I was in the right for it, when I wasn't…"

  
  


I was stunned. I was not expecting this out of her at all. She did not seem like the crying type in the first place, but the last thing I expected from all of this was her to be clutching onto me as she sobbed her eyes out. Whatever was left in my heart shattered as I listened to her.

  
  


"I….I treated you horribly too….for absolutely no reason….I don't know why….I guess it was just….another one of those things that rubbed onto me…..I am so sorry Luz…." She didn't say anything more after that. She stayed silent, as she clutched onto me.

  
  


I felt a few emotions here as well. I was confused for a moment. Like I said this was not like her. I honestly didn't know what to make of this. A little part of me was telling me it was some kind of trick, but I don't think Boscha of all people would go this far just to trick me for whatever reason.

  
  


I also felt….justice too I guess? I don't know how to explain it, but it was a good feeling to see Boscha finally realize her mistakes and at least own up the bullying she did to me. It was….cathartic really.

  
  


I assumed she was waiting on me to say something, so I took a breath and thought of something to say.

  
  


"One thing to know about me Boscha, is that I don't hold grudges. Yeah I'm not gonna be immediately keen with you after everything you did to me and Amity, but you saying all of that already has me seeing you in a different light." She looked up at me and listened in, as I caught my breath.

  
  


"And I can tell you I've been there before, with the feeling that things aren't gonna get better, but I can tell you from my experience, they will….but you gotta put in your effort to make it better. You can't sit around and expect that it'll automatically get better." She looked away and nodded, knowing what I meant by that. She finally backed away from the hug and I slowly got back up.

  
  


"I'd start with trying to fix your friendships. I'll talk to Amity, and see if I can get her to listen to you, but try to talk to her anyways. Maybe it would be refreshing to her to hear your apology and promise to be better, right?"

  
  


Boscha lightly smiled as she nodded at me. I heard a honk at the front of the school, and I knew exactly who it was. Before I turned around and looked, I looked at Boscha again.

  
  


"Do you need a ride home..? I could ask my mom to drop you off." She stepped back for a moment before she shook her head no.

  
  


"It's okay, I live nearby….I can walk home. Besides, I don't want your mom to see me as a mess...thank you though." I nodded at her and gave a smile.

  
  


"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. I hope you take my advice to heart." She nodded with that.

  
  


"I will. I….want to make it up...to everyone." I smiled when I heard that, and I turned around and left her alone again. I felt good about myself after all of that. I finally don't feel guilty anymore. I feel relieved. I really hope Boscha tries to fix things up. She really needs to. 

  
  


I thought about it for a moment, and smiled to myself as I entered the car.

  
  


She will fix things up. It's just a matter of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a sweet chapter wasn't it? I always imagined Boscha in this story to have that tough exterior, but very damaged interior of her personality, even though it can come across as cliche.
> 
> Anyways I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure what to do next for the story. I pretty much wrote everything I wanted to write and publish, and I'm not sure what to do. Most likely I will write one more chapter sometime soon, and that'll be the ending for The New Girl. It has been fun writing this, and I hope to write something like it again in the future. 
> 
> After next chapter, I will get to work on starting my Missing sequel, which I stull don't have a name for. I have an idea for the starting premise, but I haven't wrote anything yet. I'll discuss more about it after I finish this. I'll see you guys next time!
> 
> -CircularCreations


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